Top 5 TFM TV Characters: Part 1
14 years ago

TEXAS—Today we analyze and discuss the top five current television characters that embody everything that TFM stands for. They may be fictional. Some may not be Greek. Hell, some may no longer be on the air, but they are all Frat as Fuck. In no particular order, here are the five frattiest men of television.

1. Carter Pewterschmidt—Family Guy

Peter Griffin’s father-in-law and owner of U.S. Steel; he is an old money conservative with an estimated wealth of over $7 billion. He is a member of the Skull and Bones, and plays poker with the likes of Bill Gates, Michael Eisner, and Ted Turner (whom he despises). He employs illegal immigrant laborers to maintain the landscaping of his frat castle, and believes homosexuals should be deprived the right to vote. He dislikes his daughter’s middle-class husband to such an extent that he offered him a $1,000,000 check to never speak to her again. He is a war veteran, has an addiction to sleeping pills and alcohol, and believes the secret to happiness is money.

“You can have five dollars, if you pick it up from this jar with barbed wires and salt.” – Carter Pewterschmidt

Carter Pewterschmidt hazes France:

Carter Pewterschmidt hazes Peter:

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  2. Fratteral

    I know you can only find him on reruns, but Magnum PI. Drove a Ferrari, crushed slampieces, and is always wearing proper short. FaF.

    14 years ago at 12:58 pm
  3. 1855

    Ari Gold is a fratstar, he went to harvard, and hazes the shit out of his workers. He wrecks shit on a daily basis and demeans anyone lower then him, and for that matter even above him. And he blows cash on nice suits like no ones business.
    Ari Gold=Frats really fuckin hard

    14 years ago at 1:07 pm
  4. Bromega

    Ari Gold for sure. He hazes everyone he talks to and can get anything he wants because he’s Ari Gold.

    14 years ago at 1:15 pm
  5. fin

    The set up is flawed. “Here’s a list of ‘current’…” “Hell, some may not be on the air.”

    To that I say: Where the fuck is J.R. Ewing

    14 years ago at 1:27 pm
  6. TypicalTFMer

    Of course only the South can be frat, since it is obviously the epitome of wealth and sophistication.
    But only if you go to an SEC school, since who wants to go to shitty GDI schools like Emory and William & Mary.
    But everyone knows that all the other SEC schools only wish they could be as fratty as (SEC school).
    But obviously none of the GDIs count at (SEC school), and everyone knows that all the other frats are just at (SEC school) are poser wannabe fags who couldn’t get a bid at (some frat).

    14 years ago at 2:00 pm
  7. Rush Limbro

    ok you gotta have Ari Gold on here for one and also Barney Stinson is probably the frattiest guy on TV n he didnt even make the list

    14 years ago at 2:37 pm
  8. Buck Farack

    not making the list was Ari Gold’s hannukah present. he’ll get a new dreidel tomorrow.

    14 years ago at 2:39 pm
  9. bro=/=frat

    Put aside the fact that it’s LA and his clothes suck Hank Moody from Californication is more frat than almost every other character on TV.

    14 years ago at 2:48 pm
    1. Runkle

      If Hank Moody was anywhere but LA, and dressed like a frat star, he would be the frattiest man on the planet. But he is from LA and dresses like the LA writer that he is. That being said he is the coolest fictional geed ever.

      14 years ago at 3:37 pm
  10. frattinouTN

    How is chuck bass not on this list? Inherited a real esate empire from his father that is greater than Donald Trumps, rages hard as fuck, doesn’t give a shit about anything but his money, has 3 slampieces a night, and buys the most expensive suits. FaF.

    14 years ago at 2:58 pm
    1. Glory Glory

      Is anyone else sketched out by the fact that a guy knows so much about a character on Gossip Girl?

      14 years ago at 5:45 pm
    3. Southern Proper Lady

      Please return your man card. There is no way Don Draper can be in the same league as Chuck Bass. Ever.

      14 years ago at 6:01 pm
    5. glitz

      Guys watch Gossip Girl? I’ll just assume that it’s only because your slampieces make yal

      14 years ago at 10:24 am
    6. SaF

      Don is a champ but didn’t come from money, Not quite FaF. Chuck came from old money…Frat

      14 years ago at 5:46 pm