Top 5 TFM TV Characters: Part 1
14 years ago

TEXAS—Today we analyze and discuss the top five current television characters that embody everything that TFM stands for. They may be fictional. Some may not be Greek. Hell, some may no longer be on the air, but they are all Frat as Fuck. In no particular order, here are the five frattiest men of television.

1. Carter Pewterschmidt—Family Guy

Peter Griffin’s father-in-law and owner of U.S. Steel; he is an old money conservative with an estimated wealth of over $7 billion. He is a member of the Skull and Bones, and plays poker with the likes of Bill Gates, Michael Eisner, and Ted Turner (whom he despises). He employs illegal immigrant laborers to maintain the landscaping of his frat castle, and believes homosexuals should be deprived the right to vote. He dislikes his daughter’s middle-class husband to such an extent that he offered him a $1,000,000 check to never speak to her again. He is a war veteran, has an addiction to sleeping pills and alcohol, and believes the secret to happiness is money.

“You can have five dollars, if you pick it up from this jar with barbed wires and salt.” – Carter Pewterschmidt

Carter Pewterschmidt hazes France:

Carter Pewterschmidt hazes Peter:

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  2. Tom Brokaw

    Holy shit. That Don Draper video should just be the first thing you see on this site. “Drink and smoke constantly”.

    I’ve never seen something so FaF.

    14 years ago at 3:30 pm
    1. Frat Hard and Put Away Wet

      Movie character, not TV. But yes, FaF (other than the murdering).

      14 years ago at 4:10 pm
  5. Stonewall

    I’m just going to repeat what everyone else has already stated. Where is Ari Gold? He is my idol on how I want to live post grad.
    He doesn’t take shit from anybody.
    He is filthy rich.(Buys his wife cars just to settle fights)
    Married to a hot wife, yet still goes to huge parties(ex. Playboy party)
    Plays golf on the reg.
    And the list goes on and on and on.

    14 years ago at 4:21 pm
    2. Bones

      They reference Ari’s affiliation many times. He even hazes Lloyd like a pledge to let him earn the title as an agent.

      14 years ago at 12:39 am
    7. Mr. Fratdell

      “hey help, no, im calling you the help, could you hurry up with those fish balls? all ive had today is, like, six gummy bears and some scotch.”

      14 years ago at 4:46 pm
  8. Texas Fratstar

    Where is Charlie Harper, Charlie Sheen’s character from Two and a Half Men… he is FAF

    14 years ago at 5:28 pm
    3. The Fuckin Order

      Ari Gold used to make pledges hang full beer cans from their balls! Now he drives a 750li while his smokin hot sorostitute wife sits shotgun. TFM.

      14 years ago at 7:51 am