Top 5 TFM TV Characters: Part 1
14 years ago

TEXAS—Today we analyze and discuss the top five current television characters that embody everything that TFM stands for. They may be fictional. Some may not be Greek. Hell, some may no longer be on the air, but they are all Frat as Fuck. In no particular order, here are the five frattiest men of television.

1. Carter Pewterschmidt—Family Guy

Peter Griffin’s father-in-law and owner of U.S. Steel; he is an old money conservative with an estimated wealth of over $7 billion. He is a member of the Skull and Bones, and plays poker with the likes of Bill Gates, Michael Eisner, and Ted Turner (whom he despises). He employs illegal immigrant laborers to maintain the landscaping of his frat castle, and believes homosexuals should be deprived the right to vote. He dislikes his daughter’s middle-class husband to such an extent that he offered him a $1,000,000 check to never speak to her again. He is a war veteran, has an addiction to sleeping pills and alcohol, and believes the secret to happiness is money.

“You can have five dollars, if you pick it up from this jar with barbed wires and salt.” – Carter Pewterschmidt

Carter Pewterschmidt hazes France:

Carter Pewterschmidt hazes Peter:

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  2. TABOOMA

    Considering this is only Part One of the list, it will be interesting to see who makes the cut for future lists.

    14 years ago at 4:17 pm
    3. Bro Devaney

      in no way, shape or form. his parents were nudists or some shit. he’s the epitome of a jedi.

      14 years ago at 11:10 am
  5. abortliberals

    If he didnt wear those bowling shirts and cargo shorts, Charlie from 2 and a half men

    14 years ago at 6:40 pm
  6. Southern by the Grace of God

    1.Denny Crane (boston legal)
    2.Kenny Powers
    3.Frank (from everyone loves raymond) he hazes everyone he meets and was a war vet.
    4.Dennis from (Always sunny in phil)
    5.Zack Morris (saved by the bell)

    Start one for movies too though

    14 years ago at 7:08 pm
  7. CommonwealthsAndCritterBelts

    Sterling Mallory Archer – “Stereotypes exist for a reason, Lana.”

    Ari Gold – “Well, fellas, I’d love to stay longer, but it’s anal night at the Gold household, so I’ve got to go punish my wife.”

    Roger Sterling – “My name’s on the building.”

    Nucky Thompson – “Rest assured that dry though the country may be, I am in the midst of concluding arrangements that will keep Atlantic City wet as a mermaid’s twat.”

    14 years ago at 8:18 pm
  11. Frataholic

    What about James Bond? I know he’s British but he hazes terrorists, dresses FAF(Fly as Fuck) and is always has a new slampiece

    14 years ago at 10:52 pm