Supporting Trendy Causes On Social Media
12 years ago

Trendy Causes

After the latest Facebook trend of changing your profile picture to an equals sign, I can no longer keep quiet on this issue. I’m not talking about gay marriage or “equality.” I am, of course, talking about how asinine it is to believe that you’re making a difference by supporting social causes on social media. You know who I’m talking about: the Lindsay Fünkes who arbitrarily choose issues to passionately support.

Remember when the hip, internet thing to do was to change your profile pic to a cartoon? This was in an effort to end domestic violence. I’m sure some liquored-up, pissed-off husband with the intention of harming his wife or children calmly sat down on his computer and perused Facebook after leaving the local bar. He thought to himself, “Oh look, several of my ‘friends’ now have cartoon images instead of pictures of themselves. Well, I better not beat my wife now.” Yeah…

I’m imagining that these social media crusaders have a smug sense of satisfaction after they “join the movement.” They might want to stop and consider the fact that opposing domestic violence isn’t that courageous. It’s the equivalent of taking a stance against slavery. No shit you don’t like domestic violence or slavery, nobody does.

How about the Kony 2012 campaign? Apparently all these suburbanites woke up one day, and realized that Africa was fucked up. Please continue to lecture the rest of us about how terrible Africa is after watching a thirty minute video. I’m sure you’re quite the expert since you changed your Facebook picture to the same damn thing as every other 12-year-old girl on the internet.

I should probably care more, but like Chappelle said, “I don’t fuck with Africa. People are starving to death there, and that shit ain’t baller to me.”

I also noticed that almost all of those who adamantly spoke out about poverty in Africa also posted about Black Friday shopping. Shouldn’t that money be spent helping those poor Africans who can’t help themselves instead of a new flat screen? Oh, you must’ve found a new trendy cause to support by now.

By the way, how’d that Kony 2012 thing work out? Oh yeah, the face guy of the entire movement ended up publicly masturbating, fully nude in the street.

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