Trigger Warning: If You Hate Dad Bods, You’re Sexist

jakewgoldman11 years ago

With its rise in popularity, there have been mixed reactions to the Dad Bod fad sweeping the nation. Some are singing the praises of the male-driven body acceptance movement while others want to squash it in its tracks before it can dad waddle any further. I’ve seen quite a bit of fuss about the whole thing, mainly from chicks that are chewing sour grapes about how a belly can’t ever be a six-pack. It’s a hilarious waste of their time, and oh yeah, it’s sexist.

If the roles were reversed and I lamented how Lena Dunham shouldn’t be proud of her dad bod, I’d be crucified on social media by the hoards of the body acceptance brigade. My phone would light up with a thousand notifications from women that “don’t care what people think of my body, it’s beautiful just the way it is.” Nothing shows how little you care like arguing on social media. These people who freak out whenever a guy says something about the opposite sex are sabotaging their whole body acceptance movement by caring so much. They’re also creating another double standard by saying men shouldn’t be proud of their bodies.

The following is a quote from my Facebook feed the other day, from a girl who totally backs up the “healthy at any size” load of shit people are being spoon-fed:

“Dad bods will never be a thing. Stop pretending you look as good as a MAN with abs.”

So, when men decide that they are happy with the way their bodies look, it is pretending? Does not meeting society’s expectations of what the male figure should look like make a man less of a man? It’s wrong for a woman to be judged by her figure, but dammit, when men start being proud we should just be put in our places, right? Any of this whining sound familiar? How do these people let this garbage dribble out of their mouths and at the same time claim any size is beautiful…all while eating? I swear to God if these people did the same amount of gymnastics in real life as they do in their mind to justify their bullshit, I wouldn’t even be writing this.

How has no one seen the irony in this? I have literally seen people say that men are “forcing us” to accept their figure because they are shamelessly flaunting their dad bodies. People are actually getting upset about the fact that overweight guys are on boats shouting “Dad bod!” and shotgunning beers, but no one bats an eye at it because men are fair game to stereotype. With all the fuss, it wouldn’t surprise me if a headline like “Oberlin College Bans Dad Bods on the basis of Micro-aggression” actually came up in my newsfeed. Oberlin fucking would. I can see the comments on this article already:

“I’m all for it! Body acceptance is one thing, but these guys are crossing the line! Put a shirt on! Stop forcing yourselves on us!”

“It’s almost aggressive…it…it IS aggressive! These…FRAT GUYS just get to flaunt their bodies and we have to sit there and take it? It’s practically assault. IT’S EYE RAPE!”

But the hilarity in all of this really lies in the fact that the dad bod isn’t a passing trend. Do you know why? Because dudes with dad bods have been cool with having dad bods since before having dad bods was “cool.” You can spend your whole day writing about why having a dad bod is disgusting and how these men need to “grow up” and “hit the gym,” but save your whiny breath. The dad bods are too busy enjoying their bodies to waste their time agonizing over what some person on the internet thinks. Maybe these social justice warriors should take a page from the dad bod playbook and lighten up, or, you know, just hit the gym..