Twitter Users Gave Us Their Best Ideas To #MakeBaseballExciting, Most Probably Aren’t Legal
Another day, another superb trending hashtag on Twitter. Last night’s hashtag of choice was #MakeBaseballExciting, which was surely the result of baseball becoming relevant again seeing as how we have officially made our way into October.
ESPN may have recorded its best baseball television audience in a decade two days ago, but I failed statistics, giving me good reason to ignore the absurdity of it all and enjoying a night of Twitter ridiculousness. I may have a midterm in two hours, but Twitter is a trap, and I am thoroughly ensnared at the moment.
Is it a ball? A hand-grenade? Only one way to find out. #MakeBaseballExciting
— Comics and Cognac (@ComicsandCognac) October 8, 2015
#MakeBaseballExciting: Add Nudity. Also, add NFL players. Finally, change the game to football.
— Kate Quigley (@KateQFunny) October 8, 2015
Land mines on the base paths. #MakeBaseballExciting @midnight
— Paul McElligott (@PaulMcElligott) October 8, 2015
Crackerjack now with 25% more crack #MakeBaseballExciting @midnight
— ChristopheRrrr (@CarlosDanger420) October 8, 2015
All bathrooms in stadium are locked until someone hits a double or better.
#MakeBaseballExciting @midnight
— Rick G. Rosner (@dumbassgenius) October 8, 2015
KissCam turns into 2ndBaseCam if a player is on 2nd, 3rdBaseCam if player is on 3rd.
#MakeBaseballExciting @midnight pic.twitter.com/irpxeIiabs
— Rick G. Rosner (@dumbassgenius) October 8, 2015
Lace the popcorn and sunflower seeds with ecstasy #MakeBaseballExciting @midnight
— Bobby Omoto (@bobbyomoto) October 8, 2015
Blindfolds. Crowd has to direct players to swing and catch. @midnight #MakeBaseballExciting
— Ryan Mill (@RyanMill) October 8, 2015
#MakeBaseballExciting Instead of having a Kiss Cam have a BJ Cam instead. #bjs
— Tony Banks (@maskedvoyeur) October 8, 2015
#MakeBaseballExciting
Use testicles as balls
— Ben Evans (@BenMeerkat) October 8, 2015
The designated hitter takes a hit of a blunt before each at bat. #MakeBaseballExciting
— Zakaria Ahmed (@DaRealZAK) October 8, 2015
Drugs? Nudity? Explosives? Do Twitter users desire the deaths of America’s professional athletes? As always, Twitter left me with nothing but questions. Questions of a nature only the internet can provide. Questions that have you wondering if the majority of society has undiagnosed mental illnesses. If anything in that Petri dish of stupidity and questionable ethics is certain, the game could use some historical changes if the internet is any measure of opinion.
Rob Manfred is likely unaware of my existence, but if I were to throw Grandex’s deceivingly pathetic crew of lobbyists behind any suggestion listed above, I’d stick my money on the revamped “kiss cam.”
KissCam turns into 2ndBaseCam if a player is on 2nd, 3rdBaseCam if player is on 3rd.
#MakeBaseballExciting @midnight pic.twitter.com/irpxeIiabs
— Rick G. Rosner (@dumbassgenius) October 8, 2015
Very few activities are more American than a solid handy on the video board of a professional stadium. The mental image of two of St. Louis’ finest residents performing some hand-to-gland combat on the Jumbotron as I scarf down a half-frozen ballpark pretzel has me yearning for an extra inch of desk height. Besides, anyone who is opposed to some video board PDA is welcome to move to Philadelphia. They usually struggle to meet kiss cam qualifications..
Image via YouTube

This one is easy: allow steroids.
10 years ago at 7:58 pmBaseball is only dull to dull minds.
10 years ago at 10:34 pmThis they type of shit I’d expect from Steve Holt
10 years ago at 12:47 am