Two Pitchers For The 10th Ranked Florida Gators Face Felony Charges For Climbing A Crane
Two pitchers from the University of Florida’s baseball team, currently ranked tenth in the nation, were arrested last night and are being charged with felony trespassing charges. That sounds pretty serious. What did they do, break into Area 51? Hop the fence at the White House? Felony trespassing charges have to mean something big time like that, right?
Police say sophomores A.J. Puk and Kirby Snead climbed a crane inside a marked construction area without proper authorization. If convicted, this crime is punishable by up to five years in prison.
Just absolutely egregious. I mean to climb a heavy duty piece of machinery in a clearly marked area of construction is downright diabolical. Five years just doesn’t seem like enough.
What’s that? You think I’m being a tad overdramatic? No, I swear it has nothing to do with Puk being the Gators ace and Snead being a valuable bullpen arm. Sure, I guess it makes UCF’s road to Omaha and the College World Series that much easier with those two arms out for regionals, but I don’t see the validity of your point. And for you to question my journalistic integrity and accuse me of having ulterior motives is grossly insulting and I simply won’t stand for my character to be attacked in such a manner.
Puk and Snead are not only a danger to society, but they threaten every moral fiber of humanity itself. Lock these two maniacs up and throw away the key. At least until the season is over..
[via Deadspin]
Image via YouTube
” they threaten every moral fiber of humanity itself. Lock these two maniacs up and throw away the key.”
11 years ago at 11:45 amJesus, Dan. Stupid for sure, but they are college kids. If they drove the piece of equipment into the side of a building or some shit, OK, but didn’t they just climb on the machine?
Do you know what sarcasm is?
11 years ago at 11:46 amYou didn’t finish reading the paragraph, did ya, bud?
11 years ago at 11:49 amPeople like this make me feel smarter
11 years ago at 1:12 pmGo home Patrick Kane, you’re drunk.
11 years ago at 1:26 pmI just came back and saw I had enough laps to cover about 38 miles and realized how fucking retarded I am for not picking up the thick coat of sarcasm Dan painted in the article. I’m laced up.
11 years ago at 12:27 pmI did this once and the cops just threw me in the drunk tank for a little while and then let me go. no charges no nothing.
11 years ago at 11:46 amRiveting story. I literally have chills.
11 years ago at 11:47 amThanks for the clarification, I thought you figuratively had the chills
11 years ago at 12:06 pmI’d be able to further clarify if this site had a forum.
11 years ago at 1:09 pmcool story bro.
11 years ago at 11:48 amWhy don’t you get a shirt that says that so we all know what a tool you are.
11 years ago at 12:31 pmI’m the only pitcher in Florida getting away with crimes
11 years ago at 4:35 pmHopefully this was their first strike with the law
11 years ago at 11:52 amA felony charge for trespassing…that’s fucking retarded.
11 years ago at 11:56 amHey man, be careful with that word.
11 years ago at 9:10 amYou honor, I move for a writ of boys will be boys.
11 years ago at 11:56 am*Your, dammit.
11 years ago at 11:57 amDoesn’t Florida law enforcement have more pressing issues to deal with like people on bath salts eating people or people using live squirrels as weapons in domestic violence disputes?
11 years ago at 12:20 pmOur university and city police are some of the worst. While athletes at other universities are worshipped, glorified, and respected by everyone in their community, it’s not the case here. They’re incredibly unfriendly and unapproachable and will arrest you for stuff, like this or barking at dogs, but whenever a text alert gets sent to all students about a big crime happening on or near campus, they aren’t able to catch the real criminals.
11 years ago at 2:47 amYou worded that very badly. Giving you the benefit of the doubt.
11 years ago at 9:10 amPuk annihilated the entire South Carolina line-up this weekend so you know he’s a monster that doesn’t belong on the streets
11 years ago at 12:40 pmWhat a waste of time reading this piece of shit article. Try harder next time Jack.
11 years ago at 1:25 pmThey must of gotten some recruiting tactics from ol urban there in Gainesville cause I met a Florida pitcher one time in rehab he had 6 kids at 24 and a big wad of crack in a lump stuck in his arm
11 years ago at 7:50 pm