Two University Of Nebraska Fraternity Members Were Arrested For Something We’ve Literally All Done

Jared Borislow10 years ago

If you’re in a fraternity for long enough, you start to forget that a lot of the things you do on a regular basis are illegal. It’s pretty funny if you think about it. If you can look back on your college years and don’t have at least 69 un-convicted misdemeanors under your belt, you done fucked up. If nothing else, these two University of Nebraska FIJIs can count two each toward their totals, though in reality neither one of them should be illegal.

From KLKN:

University of Nebraska-Lincoln Police say two UNL freshman broke into a fraternity Friday night and stole a composite photo of the members.

Police say 19 year old Brandon Wojtalewicz and 18 year old Parker Newman broke into the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity house at 14th and R.

They say the men used their cell phones as light and stole a framed photo of the fraternity’s members, worth around $1,000. Officers say the house was vacant at the time. Police arrested the two in the parking lot of the Phi Gamma Delta Fraternity with the photo.

Sgt. Dave Dibelka with UNL Police says the men smelled like alcohol and had blood shot eyes. Dibelka says Wojtalewicz’s BAC was .237 and Newman’s was .201.

Dibelka says they are not sure if this is a fraternity related incident, but both men’s addresses register at the Phi Gamma Delta fraternity house.

Wojtalewicz and Newman were arrested for burglary and minor in possession by consumption.

While I appreciate the author of this story not jumping to conclusions, it’s pretty obvious that this is fraternity related. Pretty metal of the Nebraska Fijis to go steal the ATO composite, too, considering the ATO chapter is currently serving a two-year suspension. Very respectable BACs as well. I bet Wojtalfjesws is just rubbing that extra .036 in Newman’s face while they sit in the drunk tank attempting to avoid eye contact with whatever scum of the earth resides in a Nebraskan holding cell.

Let’s be real here, though – stealing things from fraternity and sorority houses should not be a crime. We’ve all done it. At senior wills in May, I gave away so many stupid sorority things I’d stolen from houses over the years that you would’ve thought I was a Hobby Lobby rep. Every chapter steals, and every chapter has been stolen from. It is currently a self-regulated occurrence, and there is no reason taxpayer dollars should be spent apprehending people whose victims don’t themselves think that what the criminals are doing is a crime.

It’s not crime; it’s tradition. TFM..

[via KLKN]

Image via The Daily Nebraskan