U of M Student Traumatized By Run-in With Gang Of Hat Thieves
Authorities at the University of Michigan are on the lookout for a savage gang of thieves roaming the Ann Arbor campus. These up-to-no-good scoundrels aren’t taking money or valuables, no, they’re accused of lifting something far worse.
They reportedly left one student absolutely terrified after helping themselves to his knitted cap, exposing his poor, defenseless soul to the elements.
From Mlive:
A University of Michigan student was knocked to the ground during an unarmed robbery on campus, police say.
Police were called about 9:30 p.m. Monday, April 16 to the 400 block of Church Street near Dana Boulevard for the incident, according to a crime alert from the University if Michigan Division of Public Safety and Security.
A student told police he was walking near East University Plaza when a group of three or four men surrounded him, police said.
One of the men struck the student in the face, knocking him to the ground, police said. A member of the group then took his knit cap and the group fled toward South University Avenue.
Tough stuff to read. College is supposed to be a safe space, protected from the cruelties of the real world, and yet here we are reading about this heinous crime. It’s barely 30 degrees outside and you’re going to take a guy’s hat? Why not take his watch or some cash? Those he can go without. But his hat? A man needs his hat, even if it is just to fit in with the rest of the hipster wannabes. This is some morbid shit.
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On a serious note, I’d be so pissed if I got jumped and all they took was my fucking hat. If I’m going to go through the trouble of having to explain why I got punched in the face, at least make it worth my while. I wanna bleed with a purpose. I’ve already been known to have pussy tendencies, and I don’t appreciate a group of strangers furthering that agenda.
I guess the point is don’t steal, but if you were to find yourself in the situation, steal with a purpose. Here’s to hoping they catch these monsters..
[via Mlive]
Image via Unsplash.com
Tight little butthole on today’s whore. Those tits could use some work though
7 years ago at 1:49 pmWe still need to see yours, girley
7 years ago at 9:46 amYou’re asking to see another man’s butthole? Always knew you were gay but thanks for the confirmation. Fucking loser.
7 years ago at 2:34 pmBeing an Ann Arbor native, I can attest to all the liberal crackheads causing havoc. Don’t surprise me at all.
7 years ago at 2:26 pm