Uber Is Allowing You To Take A Fucking Helicopter To Tonight’s Championship Game
Dallas traffic is a nightmare. For those of you who are fortunate enough to live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, you know that getting from point A to point B can be painstakingly slow during rush hour. It’s even worse when there happens to be a sporting event going on that night. Tonight is expected to be one of the busiest traffic nights of the year in Dallas, thanks to the influx of Oregon and Ohio State fans (along with all the rich people of DFW who just want to take in the game) who will head to Jerry World to watch the college football championship game. Long story short, if you’re headed to the game, leave early. Really early.
Uber is well aware of the impending traffic apocalypse tonight, and they are here to completely eliminate the chance of you sitting in traffic, causing you to contemplate whether it was worth it or not to go. For today only, Uber Dallas is rolling out UberCHOPPER to take your happy, drunk ass to the game in style. You’ll be flying high in the Dallas skies for the low cost of $350 per person.
What do you get with this sweet deal?
– A helicopter will take you to the stadium, giving you the opportunity to laugh at the peasants below who are stuck in traffic.
– A tour of the city of Dallas in the air.
– A complimentary Uber Black ride home from the game.
All you have to do is pop open your app today and request UberCHOPPER. Once confirmed, you start pregaming your ass off (presumably at Katy Trail Ice House) before an Uber Black picks you up at 4 p.m. and transports you to the helipad for takeoff. There’s no mention of whether alcohol is allowed on the chopper, but from my experience, Uber drivers typically have no problem ignoring the open container laws and allow you to bring your drink in their vehicle.
If you’re headed to the game tonight, I dare you to do it. You won’t..
Image via Uber
Finally an interesting article. Bang up job
11 years ago at 11:22 amBecause three paragraphs, a list, and one sentence is a “bang up job”.
11 years ago at 11:31 amDo you always just count stuff to determine its quality?
“I read your article. Amazing job! I counted 14 paragraphs, three photos, and your conclusion has seven sentences, which I feel is a perfect number of sentences for a conclusion. NAILED IT.”
11 years ago at 12:11 pmMr. Dorn,
11 years ago at 12:16 pmIn all fairness, you allowed Tech Guy to count ‘unique visitors’ in his fuzzy math analysis in which you determined and stated that TFM commenters don’t matter to your company. 🙁
I’m making fun of a dumb comment. Your point is irrelevant.
11 years ago at 12:19 pmWow Dorn, you logged in to five of your accounts to down vote me?
11 years ago at 12:22 pmMy comment had 4 up votes. As soon as your reply appeared my comment jumped down to negative three.
Maybe the people agree with me.
11 years ago at 12:24 pmYeah we just really don’t like you, sport.
11 years ago at 3:36 pm“Numbers don’t matter. Age is just a number.” – Dorn
11 years ago at 12:17 pmWhere the fuck is the forum and ruger?
11 years ago at 12:18 pmRuger was stealing dorns boys, they couldn’t tell them apart. So to keep the kids to himself he got rid of him.
11 years ago at 1:08 pmCause cocaine is just that much better at high altitudes.
11 years ago at 11:22 am350 for a fucking helicopter ride to and from the game? Why does this sound so reasonable
11 years ago at 11:35 amIt’s because even a GDI could offord it. That may be why it sounds so affordable.
11 years ago at 1:06 pmSwing and a miss
11 years ago at 1:30 pmI knew the gamble I was taking with that comment.
11 years ago at 2:26 pmYeah, but you didn’t know how to spell afford*
11 years ago at 2:41 pmI just got an android and the auto correct is a bitch. If tech girl would let us edit our comments like any normal site grammer Nazis like you would finally be out of your annoying job.
11 years ago at 8:13 pmWhat’s the verdict on open containers at 8,000 feet
11 years ago at 11:51 amWhat a time to be alive
11 years ago at 1:03 pm