If Your School Doesn’t Have End Zone Cabanas Can You Even Be Considered An Elite College Football Program?
Yes. Yes you can be. In fact, I think Nick Saban would personally burn these to the ground and have the entire Alabama football marketing team put down behind Bryant–Denny Stadium for tainting his precious field with this gimmicky seating concept. But that tiny man cracks maybe half a smile a year and hates anything that can cause the slightest amount of enjoyment other than winning games. So he’s clearly not the demographic for a strange idea like bringing a luxurious poolside cabana — minus the pool — to the gridiron.
However, for my alma mater and the Florida university “where tradition starts now,” it’s a perfect distraction from your offense being one of the most inept in the country despite having an “Oregon guy” at the helm. I mean look at these mofos.
All for the low, low price of $22,000, you and 11 of your closest friends get a perfect spot to drink away a season of McKenzie Milton interceptions and 15 second three-and-outs that give the Knights defense no chance to catch their breath. Where do I sign?
Forget football. Between this and the fucking beach we already have in Bright House Networks Stadium, I’m all in on just installing the missing water slides and turning this into a second Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon location.
Maybe we’d finally be able to fill the stadium if we targeted poor urban families who were just itching to slip on the water wings and pee on themselves in a lazy river.
Charge on..
Image via Twitter
End Zone cabana’s are for shitty football schools Dan.
9 years ago at 1:48 pmMost of the real programs have suites.
You stole my thunder. Well said.
9 years ago at 1:58 pmConsidering it’s probably not socially acceptable to get wasted in one of those cabanas, I’ll take my nosebleed seats and the flask that I keister into the game over that any day.
9 years ago at 1:55 pmThe UCF athletic department just got sick of all the complaints from their 14 fans about your underboob sweat so they gave you a place to cool off
9 years ago at 1:59 pmAny addition is a good addition to your glorified high school stadium
9 years ago at 2:00 pmI guess that’s what it takes when your program goes 0-12 in 2015 and then 6-7 in 2016.
9 years ago at 2:00 pmNext year, right behind the cabanas, they’ll be adding the single-wide trailers
Why don’t they go all the way and replace all the seats in the stadium with bouncy castles?
9 years ago at 2:01 pmBut does UCF vend booze??
9 years ago at 2:06 pmDan’s more concerned with the availability of Cheetos
9 years ago at 2:16 pmDan will you bang in one during the 2017 season ?
9 years ago at 2:16 pmWell our stadium is basically a glorified high school field that sells no booze with an administration that took away the only shred of tradition we had to begin with (disorganized and rowdy tailgates) it’s no wonder they can’t fill the stadium or recruit winning players.
9 years ago at 3:13 pmSeats on the field means $22,000 to not be able to see the game unless you are watching the scoreboard.
9 years ago at 2:32 am