UCF Plans $25M Upgrade To Their Already Ridiculous Athletic Facilities, Includes A Lazy River
About a month back, when UCF announced that it would have VIP end zone cabanas, I said in a very tongue-in-cheek manner that my alma mater should just go all-in on becoming the best water park in the NCAA. I suggested that we finish the job we already started with our in-stadium beach club, and add the missing water slides, lazy river, and lifeguards needed to get funding from “The Mouse” and double as a second Disney’s Blizzard Beach location.
Apparently people listened.
We’re actually doing this, huh? Okay then.
At this point I feel like I’m either being trolled by our athletic director, Danny White, or he genuinely values my opinion. Either way, I need to recognize that with this great power comes great responsibility. What can I get Danny to do next? Do I remodel the Student Union into a medieval castle with a moat and drawbridge? Should I have the Math and Physics building turned into a house of mirrors or put a Dave and Busters on the 3rd floor of the Library? How about stripper poles and full time exotic dancers at the reflection pond? The possibilities are endless.
Danny, I’m not exactly sure what you see in my vision for UCF, but keep putting your trust in me and we’ll turn this school into a top 25 program in no time. Or die as an institution trying..
LSU is completing there 85 mili upgrade in August, which includes a lazy river.
9 years ago at 7:30 amIt’s Orlando, there’s a city ordinance that dictates all buildings over 8000 sq/ft must have either have a waterpark, a captive marine mammal tank, or a biker-bitch stripper pole.
9 years ago at 8:51 amShoulda just did what Rick did at Louisville and used the money to order strippers for the recruits on their visits. That’s how you build a program
9 years ago at 10:45 am