The drive-by powerpoint. TFM.

Well, sir, my mom got mad last time i took her minivan, so we took dads toyota privia. It kind of looks like an egg, but i made abunch of magnets that i put on the back that say salt life, polo, and someother stuff everyone in my chapter puts on their cars. I also had 9 of my homeboys in there, which means one wasnt wearing his seatbelt so that further proves how many fucks we give. My Limp Bizkit CD got scratched when my brother and me were fighting over my Walkman CD player so we couldnt listen to it. I did, however, bust out the Eminem CD, which is not edited, and plays all the cusswords. My uncle, Thomas, bought it for me and i keep it hidden from my mom (further proving how little fucks i give). Last time i stole heineken from dad, i got drunk after i chugged 2 WHOLE beers, and then peed on moms fancy china and glasses. Apparently, i deficated in the lint trap in the dryer and ruined a bunch of my dads work shirts. He got in trouble because they just had got his name sewed on the front and they got stained with the poop. Dad whipped my legs with metal coathangers and beat my knee caps with a cresent wrench and i couldnt walk for 2 months. So, after that little incident, i decided not to drink dads frat water anymore. We all did drink like 6 mountain dews really fast and im pretty sure we got a sugar buzz and were acting real crazy. The paitball gun i used i stole from my neighbor, Mr. McDaniels, and he is no child. He actually is in his 40s and graduated with honnors from ITT Tech and started their greek system, which, as you know, has some of the frattiest chapters in the country. He also lost his fingers trying to find a new way to skin a cat, whos name was Noodles. Since he doesnt have any fingers, he has to wear velcro shoes. Sometimes when he leans down to velcro them, his balls pop out the bottom of his shorts and it kinda looks like a piece of chewed bubble gum. What kind of gun should i use next time? I dont wanna use a real gun because i dont know anyone who has one and i herd they are really loud when they go off. I may need to get some hearing protection before hand, and mabey get one of by homeboys, Roger, to give me an OTPHJ before we use it because i wouldnt want the loud noise to make me jizz my britches. That would be a sticky situation for me. But i think i answered all your questions, if you have any more feel free to ask and i would be glad to clear them up. Take it easy Mr. Snu.