Wisconsin FIJI Give Brother Fake Award, Dunk Cam Him During Acceptance Speech, Entire Chapter Goes Crazy

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This story comes to you straight from my own undergraduate chapter: Phi Gamma Delta (FIJI) at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Here’s some background information. The story centers around my fraternity brother Colin. You might know Colin from his 2011 hit YouTube series “Talkin With Colin,” which went gold. It didn’t win any actual awards, of course. It merely went gold in the sense that its value has steadily declined since 2011. Check it out.

Colin, who pledged fall semester of his sophomore year and is currently a senior, went to his first fraternity formal this past weekend. Kid waited two years to go. Absurd. Despite numerous plots to kidnap him and stick him in the charter bus’s cargo bay over the years, Colin managed to weasel his way out of going to every formal.

For reasons unknown, our boy C finally decided, on his own accord, to break down the walls he’d built in his head to keep out fun and to let loose at fall formal this past weekend. Maybe he realized that he needs to cherish his last year in college, maybe he wanted some good talking points for a renewal of “Talkin With Colin” — who knows.

To commend Colin for his stunning and brave achievement, our chapter president handed brother Colin an award for finally attending formal at our chapter meeting this past Monday. At least, that’s what Colin thought was happening. In reality, it was all an elaborate ruse to have Colin posterized in front of the entire chapter.

BOOM SHAKA LAKA! Let’s see that from another angle, Jim.

Put that man on a poster, and bring it to spring formal.

We all love you, Colin.

  1. Tommy.Pickles

    It’s great to see TFM staff talk about their chapters, but this was stupid as fuck.

    10 years ago at 12:27 pm
  2. Texas Tux and Oil

    Back when I rushed I just couldnt wait to be hazed and never attend a formal. You guys sound like a real hoot.

    10 years ago at 12:28 pm
  3. Gun_Slinger

    According to quotes at Greekrank reviews, FIJI’s at UW are…

    “They self rank”

    “Arrogant”

    “FIJI tells their pledges to rank their rival houses badly on here. Dumb pledges used FIJI as their username on literally every single post. Bunch of bottom feeders.”

    “They are stuck up and not focused on the values of a good fraternity. They would rather be douche bags and fake than create friendships and a welcoming environment”

    “They are unfriendly and discourteous.”

    “Their new PC is eh and the guys, who should be cool, aren’t as much as you think”

    “Ok guys but below average pc and our social with them sucked. Also seemed to prey on drunk freshmen”

    10 years ago at 12:59 pm
      1. Gun_Slinger

        yes I used Greekrank, as part of the joke. it was more of a rip on greekrank. Dont get your frozen wiconsin panties in a bunch

        10 years ago at 1:58 pm
    1. Judge_Smails

      greek rank is 99% hate from kids that didn’t get bids and girls that get bounced from parties

      10 years ago at 1:26 pm
  4. TheEmperor

    I always thought Holt was the most miserable excuse for a human being ever … then I watched Talking with Colin … those two minutes are lost forever …

    10 years ago at 12:59 pm