Vegas Brothel Encourages Golden Knights To Win Stanley Cup In Ways Only A Vegas Brothel Can

ItalianStallion7 years ago

With the Pittsburg Penguins out, a new Stanley Cup champion is going to be crowned this year. Unfortunately, it won’t be my beloved New Jersey Devils. Last year, I told you even if you don’t watch hockey you should root for the Nashville Predators. This year, I’m telling you to root for the newly minted Western Conference champions, the Vegas Golden Knights.

If you have told me last year that Las Vegas would be the center of the hockey world, I would have told you to put down the pipe crack. But now the entire NHL revolves around Vegas, and I love it. Vegas hockey is the best thing I’ve experienced in a long ass time.

Now the Golden Knights are ready to go for the championship in their FIRST YEAR. Just in case they needed a little encouragement to hoist Lord Stanley’s cup, they’ve got something better waiting for them and cheering them on than a league championship.

From TMZ Sports:

s if the Vegas Golden Knights needed more motivation to win the Stanley Cup, now a famous Nevada brothel is sweetening the deal … offering a massive sex victory party if they can seal the deal. 

A rep for Sheri’s Ranch tells TMZ Sports … they’ve noticed an uptick in business during the team’s insane run — and the girls have decided they want to show their appreciation. 

Dena — the madam of the bordello — says, “If the Golden Knights win, we all win. Offering the team a victory celebration at our adult resort is the least we can do.”

When I first read this, I thought it was an Onion article, but I’m so glad it’s not. So far, Vegas hockey has been everything stereotypically Vegas I’d thought it would be and more. Drive down the strip and the Statue of Liberty at New York, New York is wearing a hockey jersey. Go to Caesar’s Palace and see a man dressed in equal parts Roman Emperor and Golden Knights garb. Look in the front row of any home game and see a row of Elvis impersonators. But this, this just puts it over the top.

I have two glaring questions. One, as if the NHL had to worry about sports gambling enough, how is this going to help the well-known fact that professional athletes always cheat on their wives. Second, this “uptick in business” they’re talking about? I wonder how much of that business came from opposing players on a road trip to Vegas. These are the questions I want answers to, but the NHL doesn’t.

“The victory party will involve the full complement of over two dozen gorgeous women and the entire sex menu will be available to any and all players wishing to partake of the brothel’s highly coveted erotic services — compliments of the house.”

Allissa — one of the prostitutes — added, “If the Knights go all the way, I’ll go all the way.”

This sounds like the professional hockey themed porno I never knew I wanted. Vegas Golden Knights: winning on and off the ice..

[via TMZ Sports]

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