VIDEO: Arizona Diamondbacks Rookie Hazing Involves High School Cheerleaders, This Won’t End Well

Rob Fox12 years ago

Rookie hazing is a time honored tradition in sports, including, if not especially, in baseball. Spring Training, which is filled with young players trying to make the major league club, or at least get noticed, is rife with such instances. Usually the hazing is pretty innocuous, as it is here. The players were forced to learn some cheers from local high school cheerleaders and then perform it for the older players. Very cute.

Maybe there’s more intense hazing behind the scenes, who knows. Diamondbacks manager and former big leaguer Kirk Gibson does seem like the type of guy that would force a rookie to suck out cheap scotch that’s been soaked into a soiled jock strap while he beat them using a dirty sock filled with batting donuts, because if you can take that then you’re a TOUGH, GRITTY PLAYER WHO KNOWS HOW TO HUSTLE, which is what Gibson wants his D-Backs to be. Thanks for Justin Upton! Go Braves.

But the hazing itself isn’t really the point here. The point is that at least one of those high school cheerleaders is undoubtedly going to get absolutely drilled by a D-Backs rookie, if she/they haven’t already. There were quite a few lookers in that video, and there’s no way at least some of them weren’t star struck by the young, athletic, relatively well paid men they were joking around with all afternoon. Not to mention, it’s not like these guys are 28 years old. They’re MLB rookies. Most of them are probably in the 18 to 21 range, i.e., within (relatively) socially acceptable striking distance of a 17-year-old. Plus they’re baseball players, it’s not like they actually give a shit anyway. Hell, Roger Clemens used to bang out a 15-year-old. RIP Mindy McCready.

So yeah, the Arizona Diamondbacks rookies are now probably plowing through high school ass like a bunch of drunk Zac Efrons. The Chaparral High School cheer squad is going to be receiving quite a few complimentary D-Backs tickets this summer, which should be a great time, I just hope none of them get caught with a water bottle full of vodka and thrown out. That’d be embarrassing. But look at the bright side, if any of them get pregnant it’s better that the father is a professional athlete than some kid on the waiting list for Arizona State.

[via AZ Snake Pit]