Warren Sapp Doesn’t Tip Waitress, Leaves Cryptic Message Instead

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When I’m not taking classes and fratting it up at DeVry, I circumcise elephants for a living. The pay isn’t great, but the tips are enormous! BA DUM TSSSS #joke #Funnyjoke #KONY2013

Apparently for waitresses at Upper Deck Sports Bar and Grille in Hallandale, Fla., the tips are the opposite of enormous–they’re nonexistent. NFL Hall of Famer Warren Sapp decided to dine at Upper Deck before the USA-Belgium game, where he racked up a $69 tab. It’s a TFM. Now, for a man who made millions playing football, you’d think a measly 20 percent tip of $13.90 would be pocket change. You thought wrong. Not only did Sapp not tip his server, he left a note to try and justify his actions.


Now, I have absolutely zero clue what the fuck point Warren was trying to get across by telling the waitress he just fucked over that “Boys Don’t Tip!” I have literally no idea. Do any of y’all? Because I’m really confused in this cubicle right now. Gotta take a fat shit, but Dorn won’t let me leave until I finish writing this news piece and it’s hard to do that when I don’t know what’s going on. I’m clenchin’ hard, too. Broke a sweat about five minutes ago and I’m getting real buttery. Someone please tell me what he is talking about.

Sapp, you’re a bigger piece of shit than the one I’m about to go take care of.

[via Darren Rovell]

  1. brewking

    Sapp has admitted it on Twitter, claiming that the food was “horrible” the “service was worst,” and that the waitress “kept calling us boys.”

    10 years ago at 1:39 pm
  2. Frat Kirk Ferentz

    Larry David did a Curb about blacks tipping. Just saying where theres smoke there is fire

    10 years ago at 1:43 pm
  3. DornFromMajorLeague

    He’s apparently so bad with money he has had to resort to selling insurance to cover that bankruptcy.

    10 years ago at 1:58 pm
  4. WillardFratkins1855

    Only black peoplelibs could get so offended by a meaningless colloquial term, which waiters use all the time (‘what can I get you boys’) that they spend $70 at a restaurant and leave no tip.

    Zero class. Men tip, regardless of the fact that the waiter called you a “boy.”

    And you have to be beyond insane to make the connection that a waiter saying “boys” = racist, especially given that nobody has claimed that was the case. How is this a TFM?

    10 years ago at 2:00 pm
    1. Over9000

      That’s what plantation owners would call slaves back in the day, so I can see how they’d be offended.

      10 years ago at 4:11 pm