Washington State University To Allow Beer Sales At Football Games — But There Is A Catch

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If you’re a football fan of the Washington State Cougars (Jesus Christ), I have some welcome news for you: you can finally buy beer at home football games.

That’s right, Cougs. Martin Stadium will officially sell beer this season, which you will really want to consume if you actually care about Washington State football, because God help you, man. I know Mike Leach is the coach there, but the only other thing I know about Washington State is that it’s the home of Johnny Manziel’s father, Ryan Leaf. In fact, if you can name a single Washington State football player in the NFL without cheating, I’ll resign from Grandex today.

From Scout.com:

Washington State will expand alcohol sales in Martin Stadium this season, offering beer at the general concessions level at football home games, Cougfan.com has confirmed through multiple sources with knowledge of the process. Sales are expected to generate net revenue of $1 million this football season.

The catch is pretty predictable: The alcohol will be on sale in every section except for the student section — which , of course, will remain dry. Students, after all, can not consume alcohol lest they be 21 years of age. Any student who violates this Good Law is a criminal in the eyes of God, and He will have them spend eternity in Hell.

Martin Stadium will offer an extremely “meh” selection of beers, including Blue Moon, Blue Moon IPA, Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy, Leine IPL, and the shitty domestic stuff like Coors Light, Miller Lite, Redd’s, and Smith & Forge.

Washington State becomes the 39th school to serve alcohol at general concession stands, joining the ranks of Colorado, Ohio State, Texas, West Virginia, Maryland, Minnesota, SMU, and Pittsburgh.

If I am ever up late enough to catch a Washington State football game, I’ll crack open a cold Coors Light in your honor, Cougars fans. Congratulations on the new alcohol policy. I’m sure you’re all going to enjoy need it.

[via Scout.com]

Image via YouTube

  1. VandyConservative

    It’s what the Founding Fathers intended: ice cold beer served during televised football games.

    9 years ago at 4:04 pm
  2. Slade Fratstroke Wilson

    Go cougs! And Jeff Tuel (not that much of an NFL star but still) now pack your shit and the fuck out SteveChode!! You’ll always be remembered for possibly- kinda-maybe not sucking as bad as Intern Sammy.

    9 years ago at 4:07 pm
  3. Shut up Meg

    I dont give a shit about this school but its probably better than the shitcan you crawled out of

    9 years ago at 4:26 pm
  4. IglooButts

    I fucking hate when domestics arent called domestics. Every fuckint beer you mentioned is brewed and bottled in these states. #BeerEquality

    9 years ago at 4:35 pm
  5. Cozy

    Deone Buchanon, Cardinals saftey. didn’t cheat I go to WSU and knew him. I’ll accept your resignation.

    9 years ago at 4:42 pm
    1. DrLou11

      Bucanon’s revolutionizing the linebacker position by not needing to be 250 lbs too. Relatively well known player at this point in the league for being a dollar backer. Resignation is definitely deserved here

      9 years ago at 5:36 pm
    2. poellermann

      You’re the real MVP for making Steve Holt resign the community thanks you. Bryton is next

      9 years ago at 6:50 pm
  6. Beer Bitches N Boats

    Go Fucking Cougs, but god you are ignorant. Sure we are only Wazzu, but we are far from being the train wreck you just wrote about.

    9 years ago at 4:49 pm
  7. asdiv

    Come down to Louisiana, you can buy all the beer you want inside, including the school’s very own beer

    9 years ago at 5:21 pm
  8. TheOriginalDadBod

    Wow Steve, I actually laughed at something you said in an article you wrote. Hell is freezing over.

    9 years ago at 5:35 pm