We Get It, Dan – You Had A Good 2016
8 years ago

Many, many people had less than stellar years in 2016. Dan Bilzerian — the poker playing playboy millionaire who has over 20 million Instagram followers — was not one of them. He made this fact abundantly clear by posting two very lengthy photo and video montages of all the awesome shit he got into last year.

Naked models and celebrities and private jets and fully-automatic weapons and lavish vacations and cliffside mansions and mountains of casino chips and drug lord-esque stacks of cash — that was Dan Bilzerian’s 2016.

If you hate seeing me do well, 2017 gonna be another fucked up year for you-JH 🎼@bag_raiders

A video posted by Dan Bilzerian (@danbilzerian) on

It's been fun. Song:@theweeknd

A video posted by Dan Bilzerian (@danbilzerian) on

Oh okay, dude. Nice. Good for you. We’re all so happy for you and wish you continued success in 2017!

Here’s the truth: I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t live like this. The Dan Bilzerian lifestyle is not for me. Give me a week or two living this way and I’m good. I’d have to get back to the basics of drinking cheap wine, hanging out with my very average friends, and hitting the usual bars on the weekend.

The perpetual moral hangover of his lifestyle would send me spiraling into a deep, dark place about six months in. I’d be done. There are only so many naked models and wild sex/drug/alcohol benders I can let into my life before it’s time to go to church and call my mom.

[via Instagram/ @danbilzerian]

  3. GeedsAreRuiningAmerica

    How violent are the fights at the TFM office over who gets to lick Bilzerian’s asshole?

    8 years ago at 12:16 pm
    1. FratShannon69

      Except he didn’t suck black cock on camera to get famous. But other than that exactly the same.

      8 years ago at 1:21 pm
      1. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

        Did his first father also help free a murderer and second father go from Olympian to Espy-winning tranny?

        8 years ago at 5:29 pm
  6. StoryTeller

    We all have Instagram. Instead of jerking off to Dan’s videos, why don’t you publish some interesting content, you chode.

    8 years ago at 12:36 pm
  7. InHoc04

    I thought y’all had moved on? Isn’t that Lil Dicky guy Grandex’s new obsession?

    8 years ago at 12:41 pm
    1. beanfickersupreme

      Lil Dicky is actually talented and brags about having a small penis. TFM

      8 years ago at 1:34 pm
  8. Drunk Chris Berman

    You say that lifestyle isn’t for you until you have the money for that kind of lifestyle

    8 years ago at 12:50 pm
  11. House of Paign

    If he is really that rich and has that crazy lifestyle, good for him. Never wish anything bad on anyone.

    But one thing has always nagged at me about this guy (the 3 times a year I am reminded of him) – if he has such a great life, why does he so desperately need our attention? God bless him, but if I had all that stuff (which I don’t), I would keep it to myself and close friends, and not waste a second of my life trying to impress people I will never meet.

    8 years ago at 2:28 pm

    1. It pays to be on social media now. IG, SnapChat, Twitter pay high profile people to stay active and keep their thousands and millions of followers engaged.

      8 years ago at 3:22 pm
    2. MWickham

      It’s legitimately his career. This is reality TV 2.0. He’s building the fuck out of this personal brand, and audience/fanbase, and most importantly his influence. Brands pay fuck loads of money to partner with him and it’s also lead to TV/Film opportunities. He made a fuck load of money playing poker but he’s also still hustling. Listen to his interview on Howard Stern. I thought he was a douche until I listened to that interview. He’s just living how he wants to live and is anti generic social norms. I respect it.

      8 years ago at 9:35 pm