West Virginia Student Blacks Out, Wakes Up To Uber Driving Him 350 Miles Home To New Jersey

Dent8 years ago

Everyone you meet in college has at least one story of a time when they probably had a little too much to drink. For me, it is the time my girlfriend had to drag my limp 280 pound carcass through a foot of snow. For others, the peak of their overdrinking may be waking up in a total stranger’s bed. But nobody can top this West Virginia student who drank so much that he asked his Uber driver to take him home — like home home.

What a nightmare scenario. Just having to talk to Uber drivers under normal circumstances is a forced, awkward experience. It’s rude not to say anything, but annoying if you say too much like some sort of weird blind date. But can you imagine the trauma that this kid faced? He had to wake up mid-blackout and try to estimate what kind of rapport he had built — a rapport that had been cultivated over the course of six hours.

Imagine being in his shoes and trying to assess the situation. If this had happened to me, I would have a ton of immediate questions about what embarrassing things might have happened.

First, did I have to throw up? I don’t see or smell any, but what if we had to stop for me to throw up — like multiple times? Secondly, can I trust that blacked out me is courteous enough to hold in his flatulence? I don’t think I can. For all I know, I have just been casually throwing wind this whole drive and not given a fuck about what this guy thinks. But my biggest concern would be this, who the hell agrees to drive an Uber across state lines in the middle of the night? As far as I’m concerned, that is on some serious serial killer shit.

Luckily, the driver did a five star job delivering the student safely so he could live to tell the tale. Or at least he was still alive last time we checked. No confirmation yet on if he survived explaining the ordeal to mom and dad. The only resulting injury that we know of at this time would be to his wallet, a cool $1600. Other than that, it’s a pretty legendary story.

This just goes to prove a rule that I have long sworn by. If you see a friend clearly very intoxicated, confiscate their phone. They’ll be upset in the moment, but guarantee they’ll thank you in the morning because who’s to say where they’ll end up if you don’t..

Image via Twitter