What’s Going Through Your Mind vs. What’s Going Through a GDI’s Mind At Graduation
The Job Market
GDI: I should’ve listened to my parents and pretty much everyone else when I told them I was majoring in art history.
You: Good thing I’m getting my MBA and don’t have to worry about getting a job for another two years.
Living Situation
GDI: I guess I’ll give my cousin a call to see if he needs a roommate in his duplex.
You: I’ll worry about that when I get back from the Virgin Islands in July.
College Regrets
GDI: I wonder if Trevor will ever forgive me hitting him in the balls during zombies vs. humans sophomore year.
You: I wonder if Mike will ever forgive me for fucking his sister last month.
Summer Plans
GDI: Frisbee golf summer league!
You: Actual golf summer league.
Relationships
GDI: eHarmony or Match.com?
You: I suppose I’ll play the field ‘til I’m 30 or whatever and then pick a nice slam to settle down with.
Dinner Plans
GDI: Hopefully Red Lobster isn’t too crowded.
You: Maybe this is the night I put away more scotches than dad.
Plans for the Night of Graduation
GDI: I think I’ll finish building my Minecraft house. My friends already went home, anyway.
You: Depressed that I have to leave this behind, but I have no problem with blacking out and forgetting my last night as an undergrad.
Where I’m Hoping To Be In Five Years
GDI: Designing the next big craze in anime flash gaming and getting ready to move out of my parents’ house.
You: Not in Alcoholics Anonymous.
Where I Will Be In Five Years
GDI: Assistant manager at a Coffee Bean. Married and hating it.
You: Climbing the corporate ladder of success. Star on your company softball team. Married to a total babe.
Where I’m Hoping To Be In Ten Years
GDI: Creator and star of the largest gaming channel on YouTube.
You: Raising future Olympic champions and starting my own company after 10 solid years in the private sector.
Where I Will be In Ten Years
GDI: Bankrupt after opening a coffee shop. In the middle of an ugly divorce.
You: Making partner at your company. Wife aging like fine scotch even after two kids.
Worst College Memory
GDI: Running for student government and only getting 5% of the vote.
You: Getting arrested in Mexico on spring break sophomore year.
Best College Memory
GDI: Becoming an RA senior year and successfully getting three kids put on academic probation for alcohol violations.
You: I wish I could remember it.
Your Professional Network
GDI: I know the manager of the local GameStop. Maybe he’s got something.
You: Chapter alum in your hometown has promised to hook you up with a decent entry-level job at the alumni golf tourney last month.
Your GPA
GDI: I worked hard for this 2.6.
You: I want to thank the house test bank, SparkNotes, pledges and good old fashioned American adderall for this miraculous 3.5.
I couldn’t care less about what a GDI thinks about anything
12 years ago at 2:35 pmYou did enough to comment on this column.
12 years ago at 2:55 pmThere’s nothing I love more than a column author calling someone out.
12 years ago at 4:22 pmI’ll be honest, I only read half the column. I’m assuming that the GDI part is all about cargo pants, chinstrap beards, anime, and battling depression when they can’t get an erection from their ugly girlfriends. If TheChampionsTour is going to get butthurt so easily from comments then he’s going to have a bad time posting more columns on here
12 years ago at 4:29 pm^You must be new here, pal.
12 years ago at 4:43 pm^I’ve been here long enough to know you’re a bottom tier writer, chief.
12 years ago at 4:54 pmTry less, dude.
12 years ago at 5:45 pmSome Preparation H should heal your butthurt. As much as I enjoyed this pissing match with you; I’m going to end it here, start drinking some beer, and watch Duck Dynasty. I look forward to your next column, bud.
12 years ago at 6:07 pm^Shut the fuck up chief.
12 years ago at 6:32 pmI accept your olive branch of peace, brosiah.
12 years ago at 6:45 pm^^Nobody cares what you have to say, kid.
12 years ago at 7:20 pm^I re-read your column, maybe it’s just the landshark in me that is changing my perception, but the article isn’t half bad. I’ve never thought about what is going through a GDIs mind before. I respect the hell out of you for putting yourself into their hightop shoes to write this article from their perspective. Keep up the work, Champ.
^ What a spineless jerk off.
12 years ago at 8:26 pmI think I speak for everyone here when I say, ^^ go fuck yourself, you try hard twat, no one likes you here.
12 years ago at 5:31 amTheChampionsTour, stop fraternizing with the help.
12 years ago at 6:28 am^^^One of the funniest usernames I’ve seen in a while.
12 years ago at 3:03 pm^^^^^ ALERT ALERT ALERT
12 years ago at 3:40 pmPlease try less.
12 years ago at 1:13 pmare brosiah and champions the same guy?
12 years ago at 10:08 pmOne of the more spot columns, nicely done Champ.
12 years ago at 2:44 pmI appreciate that, Bri-man.
12 years ago at 2:54 pm^ Don’t listen to him. “A Look Into The Typical Day on Summer Break” was probably your peak. I see you are back to writing more shitty columns
12 years ago at 4:32 pmYou’d have to be a fucking idiot to get an MBA straight out of undergrad.
12 years ago at 3:04 pmThank God someone else noticed that…
12 years ago at 4:27 pm“Where I’m hoping to be in five years: Not in Alcoholics Anonymous.”
12 years ago at 3:54 pmThe GPA one is too accurate. Well done.
12 years ago at 4:00 pmIf you’re getting an MBA out of undergrad you must be going to a shitty school. Plus, who wants to hire a MBA with no experience?
12 years ago at 4:44 pm^
12 years ago at 9:09 pm^^gets it
12 years ago at 9:59 amWho the fuck still uses Sparknotes?
12 years ago at 7:11 pmwho the fuck only gets a 3.5
12 years ago at 10:41 pm“Wife aging like fine scotch, even after two kids”
Not bad champions, not bad at all.
12 years ago at 10:00 amWorst College Memory for the GDI should have been not going Greek.
12 years ago at 3:33 pmwhats art history?
12 years ago at 12:19 am