When The Patriots Lose, America Wins
The turn of the century brought change to the NFL world, and not the good kind of change. In the first four seasons of the new millennium, the New England Patriots won three Super Bowls and a breed of insufferable sports fans was spawned. And I’ll be real, here: the Patriots are good, but they aren’t God’s team or some shit. They’re not a dominant force that can’t be stopped, and in no way are they currently a dynasty. They sure as hell aren’t the greatest team of all-time.
Since they bumped their Super Bowl championship number from one to four in 2004-05, they have won just one since (thanks to some terrible play calling on Seattle’s part). Nothing that should inspire the kind of cockiness seen in Patriots fans. Put them up against Lombardi’s Packers, the Steel-Curtain Steelers of the late ’70s, Joe Montana’s Niners, or even the Cowboys teams from the ’90s and the Patriots are barely cracking the top five best “dynasties” of all-time.
Sure, Patriots fans can bring up that they went to two other Super Bowls, which they lost, but nobody gives a flying fuck who came in second. All they remember is that Eli Manning has two rings. This whole damn season we heard from Pats fans about how they were going to destroy everyone and they were the greatest…blah, blah, blah. And what was their reaction when they lost yesterday? “You can’t win ’em all!”
So get off your high horse, Pats fans. Maybe if you didn’t set your expectations so unrealistically high, the rest of the country wouldn’t jump for joy when you lose. You are not entitled to every Super Bowl just because of your team name. The snow must be getting to your heads, because you have no reason to be the cocky little shits that you are, wrecking everyone’s Twitter timelines. It’s like watching St. Louis Cardinals fans during MLB season.
That loss to the zombie of Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos was the best thing ever for the rest of us, because for another year, you have to wipe that giant smirk off your face knowing that you won’t be crowned Super Bowl champions, just like you’ve had to do nine times out of the last ten years. A Patriots loss brings the rest of the country together. We love seeing your fans cry. It’s the one time when Steelers and Ravens fans or Cowboys and Eagles fans can sing in unison that we hate your stinkin’ guts.
But let it be known, we aren’t rooting against the team that is the Patriots. We are rooting against their fans for how off-base and mind numbing they are to listen to. The constant annoyances during the season. Hashtagging every tweet with “DoYourJob.” The Gronking of miscellaneous objects. Everything. Just stop it. It’s one thing to be that annoying when you’re dominating the league, but you’re not, so it’s not a good look.
Patriots fans are left looking like this today…
…and the rest of America couldn’t be happier..
I hope you wrote this to atone for your absurd opinion that you’re the unluckiest sports fan
9 years ago at 1:35 pmsee you next year in Houston
9 years ago at 1:53 pmHarrison you sound like a fucking pussy.
9 years ago at 1:55 pmCopy and pasted the title of the article didn’t cha?
9 years ago at 2:01 pmHarrison, I hope your new Newton jersey fits better than your Wilson one from last year.
9 years ago at 2:03 pm“Maybe if you didn’t set your expectations so unrealistically high, the rest of the country wouldn’t jump for joy when you lose.”
That has to be the saddest, most un-American, NF thing I have ever seen written on this site.
9 years ago at 2:08 pmAgree 100%. Harrison makes it sounds like an attitude of trying to be the best is the Devils work.
9 years ago at 2:30 pmReally Harrison – why would someone on this site “want to be like the rest of the country”? Be the 1%, not the 99%.
Harrison, you probably settle for fat chicks at the end of the night.
9 years ago at 3:04 pmOh god you sound like every whiny little bitch that hates the pats. I’m not a fan of there’s either but I keep my focus on my Redskins. Also, fuck the Eagles.
9 years ago at 2:08 pmYes. Fuck the Eagles.
9 years ago at 2:21 pmIf they weren’t a dynasty, you wouldn’t be writing an article about how happy you are to see them lose.
9 years ago at 2:09 pm5 straight AFC championships, 10+ straight 10 win seasons, 10+ straight division titles, 4 superbowls of 6 appearances. I’d say thats a pretty solid fucking stat line. Jim Kelly and the Bills went to four straight superbowls and lost all four. That doesnt change the fact that they were one of the most successful and talented dynasties in the history of the NFL. In a league where every team, even the worst ones, are loaded with the greatest football players in the world, even the best teams cant always win the right games.
Tl;dr shut your whore mouth Harrison
9 years ago at 2:11 pmReal tough with six games against the Dolphins, Jets and Bills each year….
9 years ago at 2:35 pmTrue. It’s not like the Pats have a winning record against every other team in the league besides one. That’s easy shit right?
9 years ago at 2:37 pmI count 11 teams the Pats have losing records against and 2 teams with even records….
http://www.footballdb.com/teams/nfl/new-england-patriots/opponents
9 years ago at 3:38 pmMy bad. I meant Tom Brady. http://ftw.usatoday.com/2014/11/tom-brady-winning-record-stats
You can all it a bandwagon as much as you want. But these so called “bandwagon pat fans” have been around longer than the term “bandwagon” has been. Heck, let’s go back in time and refer to every fan of the Chicago Bulls when Jordan was on the team a bandwagon fan. Or when Bird was on the Celtics. Or when Montana was on the 49ers. The best sport players of each era and sport going to attract some annoying fans who praise them for how godly they are. Those players might have been hated in memory if social media was around back then. If Montana was in the league today and the news that his star wide receiver, Jerry Rice, was using stickum after the NFL had banned it (which Jerry admitted to), just imagine the type of firestorm social media would bring on those two and the whole organization.
9 years ago at 3:52 pmAlso, the AFC South is where Peyton got most of his success in the past on the Colts. His competition was playing against a Texans team who haven’t had a good QB for about as long as the Browns, a Jacksonville Jaguars team which has never done shit, and a Tennessee Titans team. People say that the Pats and Brady had it easy. Peyton and the Colts had even an easier cakewalk in my opinion.
9 years ago at 2:42 pmNot making a comparison, just stating a fact.
9 years ago at 3:08 pmPeople don’t like Boston teams because their fans Never. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. ever about anything. They somehow manage to be more annoying than a pouting Brady after every single sack he takes.
It comes with the winning ways that city has. Boston has had each of its four main teams with a Championship since 2000. They have been a powerhouse. You get a winners mentality when you have this much success.
We all talk about how teams from back when would destroy the current teams but if you put the 95′ Bulls team in their prime in today’s league, everyone would hate them. Know why? Because their fans would be the most annoying shits because of how good they are. Every time you have a team that dominates, you’re going to have those fans. It’s the nature of the game. So don’t act all high and mighty because if this was your team dominating, you know for good hell that you’d be just like a Pats fan.
9 years ago at 3:32 pmI’m a Kansas City fan and haven’t once gloated about the Royals success the past two years but keep making assumptions, BoSS.
9 years ago at 3:43 pmTwo years of top play compared to sixteen years of consistent high end play. Yup. Very comparable numbers you got there.
Also, I’m a baseball fan but it’s not as media grabbing as Football and Basketball has been. I could name some top players from every basketball team and Football team. Not so much baseball.
9 years ago at 3:55 pmIt’s not about an attitude per se, but Boston fans thinking other people care about their teams and have this dying need to be told how great they are. We don’t give a fuck and you’d be much less hated if you learned to shut up.
9 years ago at 4:25 pmIf the Royals for win two more championships in the next 2-3 years then constantly play at the top of the division for the next 11-12 years, then come talk to me about how your attitude has changed.
9 years ago at 3:57 pmIf any other team made it to 5 straight Conference championships and didn’t have a fan base that had fans shooting for the stars and striving for the highest reward, I wouldn’t even call those people a fan base. The pats are consistently near the top of the pack. What do you want them to do? Do you want them to say, “Oh we almost made it to the super bowl, I think we won’t make it next year either and someone else will.” Or something? No. If you’re a true fan of your team and you think you have a shoot, you gotta support the fucking hell out of your team, no matter how annoying. That’s what being a true fan is about.
9 years ago at 2:16 pm