Why Every Girl Should Give Blow Jobs, From A Girl’s Perspective
10 years ago

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Recently, there has been some debate on the merits of cunnilingus. The boys at TFM first published “Why Guys Should Not Be Required To Go Down On Girls,” which TSM followed with “Why Girls Should Not Be Required To Give Blow Jobs.” Then, PGP rebutted with “Why Humans Should Never Have Sex With Each Other, Ever.” Why so stingy, people?

I’m here with an opposing view, and yes, this is from a girl, so there’s no mind trickery here. I believe every girl should give blow jobs. Yes, you heard that right. I believe every woman should give blow jobs, and here’s why.

  1. He’ll brag to his friends that he actually has the coolest girlfriend ever.
  2. If you think it’s a “requirement,” you’re doing it wrong. Going down is fun.
  3. Nothing will make him happier with less time or effort.
  4. Seriously though–that look on his face. Can’t beat it (pun intended).
  5. It doesn’t make him less of a man or her less of a woman to finish orally. Bringing a man to orgasm without even having to undress him is fucking powerful.
  6. Besides, even if you don’t finish that way, a little foreplay never hurt anyone.
  7. Can’t. Get. Pregnant.
  8. He’ll have such an adrenaline rush and feel like such a man that he’ll open those jars and change your oil happily. Oh, and he’ll probably “change your oil,” too, while he’s at it.
  9. You thought that reaction was good? See what happens when you bring him a sandwich after.
  10. Let him finish on your face and you’ll look years younger. Literally.
  11. Going to the gym later? No worries. Swallowing gives you all the health benefits of a protein shake. Besides, spitters are quitters.
  12. When he goes up, the toilet seat goes down.
  13. He’ll be much more likely to get down on one knee if he knows you’re willing to get down on two.
  14. There’s actually nothing degrading about getting him to worship at your feet.
  15. You reap what you sow.

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. I’m not sure why you’re still reading this. Get to work, people.

  2. chaelajae

    “When he goes up, the toilet seat goes down ”
    Huh? I think it means he’ll be happier to put the seat back down after he uses it if he gets his rocks off, but it’s written kind of oddly isn’t it…
    Anyway, in a healthy relationship I happily agree with this 114 percent .

    10 years ago at 1:54 am
  3. anon

    It’s funny I’m a girl and I hate getting oral but I love giving it. Her points are beyond correct, my boyfriend absolutely loves it. I gave him head 3 times in one day just cause I wanted to. Guys! Treat your women right and they’ll treat you just as good. My boyfriend treats me like a princess and he’s gotten more sex, head, and sandwiches than most 19 year old guys. And girls! Don’t feel disgusted by giving blow jobs. If you truly love your man you’d do it because you WANT to, because you know it makes him happy! Of course you don’t need to do it everyday (or multiple times a day) but on occasion I promise he’ll really appreciate it.

    10 years ago at 3:44 am
    1. illnevergivehead

      That’s disgusting…. how can you actually enjoy doing THAT???? You must be a nasty whore

      10 years ago at 11:03 am
      1. Dani_skaface

        I enjoy it. Still not gonna make him a sandwich though. Maybe you’re a frigid prude?

        10 years ago at 12:43 pm
  4. truthTLR

    Awww, I love this.And how many got “the honors” to finish on you exactly? Oh but you’re a good girl and you swallow too…Future hubbie will certainly appreciate your experience.
    Honestly sweetheart let’s get real-you oughtn’t let the appreciation from the closet cuckold princesses on here make you think your sluttiness will ever make you amount to much.Cheap article from a cheap little c*m-toilet. And passing it on as actual advice?Puhleaaaaase sister,at least specify the target audience(*hint*no-self-respect-daddy-issue-slam-type*hint*).It’s polite you know.

    10 years ago at 4:22 am
      1. truthTLR

        I get told;). I’m sure whatever public toilet you’ll marry will share your opinion princess.

        10 years ago at 8:27 am
      3. truthTLR

        my opinion that sucking off ALL your boyfriends/dates/whoever makes you a cum-dumpster? Well yeah, I ain’t marrying no testosterone-deprived cuckold. I thought I made it clear-that’s beyond nasty,you delicate wittle flower.

        10 years ago at 3:48 pm
  6. bhurdbyall

    I’m glad someone who writes for these columns has a head. An unselfish individual, how rare in a world where people feel obligated instead of just making their partner happy. Standing ovation ma’am

    10 years ago at 10:11 am
  7. Dani_skaface

    BULLSHIT! I fully support blowjobs but saying I should then make him a sandwich is asinine. He should make ME a sandwich. That’s blowjob insurance.

    10 years ago at 10:43 am
  8. illnevergivehead

    That is just fn gross… why the hell would any one ever put that nasty thing in their mouths? And for him to cum on your face? That seriously churned my stomach I almost puked. And NO I DON’T WANT A MAN TO GO DOWN ON ME EITHER! Who gives a shit.if he brags about the fact that you do? Why would you be proud of the fact that he runs his mouth to his friends? That should only be between the two of you. And as for the guys who like it….. that’s fucked up to pit your junk in someone else’s face and expect them to suck on it…

    10 years ago at 11:00 am
  10. caitthegreat69

    @TheRecruitChair you got it right! As a fellow woman who loves to give guys amazing blow jobs, I couldn’t agree more that the men go crazy when you know what you are doing down south. Guys need to know that not all of us will bitch and moan about giving a bj, some of us girls even like it too 😉

    10 years ago at 12:23 pm
  11. LMAO

    Oh please…this is the dumbest bunch of sh*t. Coming from a girl who does both, I can tell you that it is WAY EASIER to go down on a girl than a guy, your jaw doesn’t feel like it’s going to break in half, you don’t have to deal with all that nasty sh*t, and you don’t choke. Guys have it a lot easier. Doing it wrong? Because it’s uncomfortable, and you don’t always get it in return? Please. If I was doing it wrong, he wouldn’t get off, and we both wouldn’t be smiling. My view is that it’s fun if you BOTH are into it, not you just “serving” him like you seem to think here – what a joke. This whole thing is completely laughable, and the guys I showed this to were laughing at you too. If you think THAT is going to get him to do ANYTHING – you are a typical “chicken head”. They actually look for girls like you because it’s obviously easy to get you to do whatever they want you to do without much effort on their part (that came straight from Ben and Nick, sitting right here beside me, haha.) Get your sh*t straight and stop trying to talk for the rest of us girls or give us advice, because you obviously don’t know how to do either.

    10 years ago at 12:34 pm