Why Guys Love Watching Two Chicks Make Out

Old_Ironsides10 years ago

It’s 3:15am, you and your pledge brother have returned from a night at the bars with two girls you have been talking to since your social earlier in the day. All four of you have been drunk since around 9:00pm, so you’re past the point where morals still play a role in your conversations with one another. Your brother nudges you and points at the girls, who are currently engrossed in a conversation with each other. He doesn’t need to speak a word. He just called a play straight out of the college handbook: you’re going to get these two to make out.

You quickly size up the situation. They’re sorority sisters, so they’re definitely comfortable with each other. They’re talking with their faces pretty close, and you heard them complimenting one another’s outfits earlier. All systems are go. You nod your head, and you both move forward, driven by a holy purpose.

Getting women to bring out their inner bi-curious nature is an art form — easy yet challenging, simple but complex. There are several things you need to look for that present you with the best opportunity to see two chicks lez out. The first is the comfortability between the two girls. It is highly unlikely (I won’t say never, because I know these white whales are out there) that two women who have no prior relationship with one another will submit to your requests to exchange tongues. Look for the girls who are close with one another: a big and her little, two friends who have been roommates since freshman year, and even girls on the same athletic team (though I admit I don’t know if that was a regular thing for them or not). The key is to make sure the women share some history and trust each other. The dynamic between two girls who have been acquaintances for an extended amount of time is always punctuated by a sexual undercurrent; you just have to tap into it.

Another pitfall to watch out for is the environment. Not every party can be spring break, where momentous peer pressure pushes women to take their tops off. You want to aim for a cozy personal atmosphere. For two girls to make out, the limit should probably be at most three guys in the same room or area that they occupy. A woman isn’t as likely to risk embarrassment and permanent enshrinement as a switch hitter by kissing another woman in the middle of a bar or house party. Keep the lights low and the vodka flowing in a private room and watch the magic happen. If you manage to pull it off, try and be the only guy around when they decide to go at it, raising the odds of you “joining in.”

Now, I once had the privilege of learning from my big brother the true ins and outs of chasing this Holy Grail. We had managed to convince two girls to join us in his room, a room he always had stocked with every kind of Pinnacle known to man. The drinks were disappearing quickly. I watched in awe as he worked all the angles, subtly and quietly pushing them toward this goal. But one girl realized his objective, and she asked him in an extremely condescending tone “Why do guys like to watch girls make out so much?” He paused for a time in absolute silence. I thought we were dead in the water, tackled inches from the end zone. But he, in that moment, produced a line that I remember to this day. He looked her in the eyes and said, “Girls are like works of art: beautiful and colorful by themselves in such a way that you could stare at one for seemingly forever and never even bother to check the time. But imagine an art gallery, filled with incredible masterpieces all individually gorgeous, but with their beauty even more accented and accentuated by the fact that they’re displayed among other incredible works.”

For a full eternity the other three of us in the room sat stunned that this line of poetry had just been spoken, and, needless to say, those girls were more than happy to exercise their lips with one another that night. So for those of you out there capable of unleashing your inner Robert Frost when needed, I advise you to use it to your advantage. As for the rest of us, well, we could always just pay girls to lock lips, but where’s the fun in that? .