Woman Calls Cops On Swedish Hipsters She Mistook For ISIS, I’m Not Sure Which Group Is Worse

I’m going to write an actual, professional sounding news lead here (I do actually have a Journalism degree, despite the fact that I have used the word “doodoopuss” in published work on more than one occasion) because this story is so absurd.

“A crowd of Swedish hipster beard club members had the police called on them Saturday after a woman mistook the group for an ISIS terror cell.”

From Independent:

Terror police in Sweden have been called to reports of a group of bearded men in dark clothes raising a black flag above a remote castle.

But instead of Isis militants, officers responding to the scene stumbled across a meeting of an international organisation of beard aficionados.

The Swedish chapter of the “Bearded Villains” met on Saturday for a photo shoot at the ruined castle of Braehus, with members excited to be pictured with the organisation’s black-and-white flag.

And while the group might have looked menacing from a distance, when they got closer police found around 30 young men hugging and laughing dressed in formal clothes, not militant garb.

I mean it when I say I legitimately cannot tell which is a larger threat to American society — ISIS or hipsters. On the one hand, ISIS is out there beheading people left and right. That’s not good. On the other hand, though, hipsters are out there saving animals from being beheaded by going full veghead with their kale chips and gluten-free snickerdoodle soy wafers. For all we know, given time, the animals they’re saving will eventually evolve enough to surpass us humans in terms of sentience and begin to fight back. As for now, I’m going to have to give ISIS the slight edge on the threat front. Don’t count out those sneaky, smelly hipsters just yet, though.

Regardless of which group I would’ve taken the beard club for, I can assure you that I still would’ve called the cops either way and hoped for arrests.

[via Independent]

Image via YouTube

  1. TN-

    Hell I would have called the cops too. That much douche in one place can’t be good for ones health.

    9 years ago at 12:40 pm
      1. maroonandgold

        There are so many ways to make jokes about this story, and you went with Steve Holt? Try again.

        9 years ago at 1:19 pm
  2. NightriderNoisewater

    Hipsters are just as dangerous as ISIS. They scare children and are obsessed with destroying everything this country stands for.

    9 years ago at 12:53 pm
  3. Yoyoyoyoyoyo

    Well great, now all I can think about is ISIS dressing like a bunch of kids that have been “so over high school since like, freshman year” and only listening to Beck on vinyl while marauding around in their bullshit convoys. Fucking bastards

    9 years ago at 1:02 pm
  4. sofratyolotfm

    Does this mean your going to shave that abortion on your face you call a beard?

    9 years ago at 1:02 pm
  5. Wayne_Fratsky

    On one hand ISIS kills innocent civilians. On the other, Hipsters made Pabst Blue Ribbon popular again

    9 years ago at 1:03 pm