We Have The Worst Gambler On The Internet, So Fade His Picks And Get Rich

Dan Regester8 years ago

In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes… and one TFM remote writer continually losing all of his money gambling both college and pro football.

It’s actually impressive how bad our guy “Siblings of Mark Wahlberg” has been so far in the 2016 season, boasting a 5-9-1 record with his weekly “locks.” Yes, he’s hitting on roughly 36 percent (I rounded up because I’m a nice guy) on his stone cold, can’t miss picks.

You’ll remember these gems that warranted their own individual column breakdowns.

I hope you readers still have your kneecaps after following this runaway train of failure into your local bookie’s debtor prison. I would apologize on his behalf, but his gambling advice has become so incredibly bad that it’s actually must-read material now so you can fade the kid or avoid a game altogether. He’s the aborted love child of King Midas and Rumpelstiltskin — turning everything he touches into mush.

Check out this message he sent the in-house writers last Saturday before the Michigan-Colorado game.

I’m convinced his words singlehandedly altered this game. I had the other side and actually got the Buffs +21 earlier in the week, but if it weren’t for Eddie Mush firing this Facebook Message our way pregame, Michigan probably does win by 40.

I’d advise avoiding the Texans this week.

If it sounds like I’m kicking the guy while he’s down, that’s not my intention at all. In fact, I’m rising him above the masses of the internet world and giving him the crown he so desperately deserves. Sure, Siblings may be an omen of despair for any team that crosses his path, but he’s our golden ticket. He’s the hero none of us degenerate gamblers asked for, but the one we so desperately need. We don’t deserve you, my friend, but I will fade your lead to prosperity one bet at a time..

If the idea of free money bores you, and you want to roll the dice on other picks that don’t solely fade Siblings, subscribe to our college football podcast Back Door Cover.