Porn Site Is Making Brendan Dassey’s Dreams Come True By Sending Him To Wrestlemania
xHamster is fulfilling a 16-year-old boy’s long-lost dream. No, not like that. Brendan Dassey, of Netflix’s “Making of a Murderer” fame (infamy?), is finally getting out of prison and will soon be heading to Wrestlemania.
Porn website xHamster is sending Dassey, who was 16 years old when convicted of helping his uncle Steven Avery rape and murder Teresea Halbach in 2005, to Wrestlemania 2017 in Orlando, Florida.
From Complex:
’We are pleased that we can make this young man’s dream of going to WrestleMania come true,’ xHamster spokesperson Alex Hawkins told Complex in a statement Monday. ‘We have been in talks with the family and they are more than thrilled that Brendan will get this opportunity after so many years of heartache and injustice. We are waiting on a response from Brendan and we know he will be thrilled that he is going to WrestleMania when he gets out.’
Well done, everyone. All of those years of watching porn and angrily jerking it to a chick banging a horse are finally paying off. xHamster, making real dreams cum true.
Dassey was so excited after hearing the news that he released a short statement: “Yeah?”
Dassey, who was shown on “Making of a Murderer” more distraught that he couldn’t watch Wrestlemania than the fact he could be going to prison for his whole life, will definitely have a summer to remember.
Dassey’s life-in-prison conviction was overturned by a federal court judge in Milwaukee about a week ago. The judge said cops obtained information from him illegally and ordered Dassey be released from prison in 90 days.
From the looks of it, the upcoming Wrestlemania will be one to remember, too. Keep in mind, weird shit always happens in Florida. Imagine what will happen when thousands of WWE fans descend on the state.
Well done, Brendan. I’m proud of you..
[via Complex]
Image via YouTube
Porn sites are in the business of making people’s dreams come true.
9 years ago at 10:50 amAnd making people come in their dreams.
9 years ago at 2:58 pmAnd people dare to say that porn is the devil’s work
9 years ago at 10:57 amI guess people forgot the verse that says “Be fruitful and multiply”.
9 years ago at 11:59 amWhat a time to be alive
9 years ago at 11:09 amTossing evidence due to illegal search. TFM.
9 years ago at 11:44 amThere is no better venue for a Wrestlemania event than Orlando, Florida.
9 years ago at 11:48 amYou would think he had seen enough shirtless dudes pounding eachother.
9 years ago at 12:05 pmI told my nephew he will be granted all his wished after leaving. Glad he will see Wrestlemania! Wonder if he will star in a porn now? That would be even better! Time to have a woman in his life, to many males have entered his life in the last few years.
9 years ago at 12:38 pmYou thought this would get upvotes, didn’t you?
9 years ago at 4:35 pmGod, if you’re real, you’ll give us the “Brendan Dassey Goes to Wrestle Mania” special on Netflix. The blank faced excitement will be too much to handle.
9 years ago at 12:40 pmYeah?
9 years ago at 12:51 pm