You Won’t Buy This Entire Town In West Virginia

West Virginia

Ever wanted to lord over your own private collection of simpering peasants? Now you can! Apparently the NSA is auctioning off a whole town in West Virginia.

From Yahoo Money:

An entire town, which was once part of the National Security Agency’s massive surveillance operation, includes 80 single-family homes, a fire station, a swimming pool and a bowling alley in picturesque rural West Virginia, is up for auction with bids starting at $1 million.

Tucked into an isolated area surrounded by the George Washington and Jefferson National Forests, the town is less than three hours from Washington, D.C. but could hardly be more divorced from the bustle of the capital—your cell phone won’t even work there. The town is located in the United States National Radio Quiet Zone, a federally designated area in which electronic communications are strictly regulated.

For the right buyer, the possibilities are endless. Sure, you’d need to have at least $1 million in cash to start, but you don’t go into the monarchy business without sizeable reserves of capital. Plus, if you were thinking less lord and more super-villain, the location is fantastic: only three hours from Washington DC. A perfect spot for a lair/missile base/laser shark aquarium. You’d have ready housing for your henchmen, and a bowling alley to keep them from revolting over those stupid uniforms you make them wear.

Personally, I’d use the place for some real life Hunger Games for the pledges, or maybe as an artillery range.

Sadly, the area will probably just get bought by something boring like a church. Wasted opportunity.

[via Yahoo Money]

Image via YouTube

  1. The Hacksaw

    We should come together and buy this town. Then we can send Intern Shitbag there so she can have a “nice, quiet place to write her articles.” She can’t post if there is no phone reception or Internet.

    9 years ago at 4:36 pm
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        9 years ago at 9:40 am
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        9 years ago at 12:33 pm
    1. Frat Turnt Titty

      It would be a nice little Safe Space for her away from all the hurtful words of the TFM community

      9 years ago at 3:08 pm
    2. SharkWeekTFM

      I wonder what SharkWeekTFM would have to say about the idea of a Laser Shark Aquarium.

      9 years ago at 8:41 am
      1. SharkWeekTFM

        It’s a joke, people just usually do it so I thought I’d beat them to the punch. Hell, I have even done this before.

        I haven’t made that mistake in a while.

        The last time I made a remark towards myself trying to pretend like it wasn’t me, was on one of my own articles. Kinda over that shit these days.

        9 years ago at 2:31 pm
      2. MichaelBurry

        Which means you refer to yourself on other accounts, presumably for upvotes.

        9 years ago at 6:36 pm
      1. Back In My Days

        Half a box of Cheerios, 7 expired dog allergy pills and a brand new case of frozen chicken thighs, final offer.

        9 years ago at 7:16 pm
      2. Back In My Days

        To clarify, the pills are for dogs that have allergies not humans allergic to dogs.

        9 years ago at 7:17 pm
      1. Cartier

        Some naked pics of a slut in my rotation, bag of IAMS dog food for adult dogs, and an ashtray

        9 years ago at 7:22 pm
      2. Banning Accounts. NF.

        2 Polaroids of my ex’s mothers drunken nip slip during vacation and the ashtray are doable but there’s no fucking you’re getting a bag of IAMS, guy.

        9 years ago at 7:39 pm
      1. Steve_Pirate

        A VCR that only plays in reverse, a frayed iPhone charger and half a bottle of febreeze

        9 years ago at 1:01 pm
  2. IglooButts

    buy the town build apartments and become the provider for every service the people in town need. You’ll wake up a slum dog billionaire by your mid 30s

    9 years ago at 5:32 pm
    1. IglooButts

      make it a safe haven for day laborers. cheap labor and no taxes. it’s great

      9 years ago at 5:33 pm
  3. Slade Fratstroke Wilson

    I had a hilarious comment in one of the previous articles and now I don’t remember where o comment it on cause I wanted to check on the up/down votes.. Have you guys ever had this happen? Asking for a friend

    9 years ago at 5:46 pm
  4. Slade Fratstroke Wilson

    Btw who kept fucking liking Inter Satanico’s post? It had 666 likes on it and I was hoping it stayed that way.
    It couldn’t be her, cause shes gotta be at some witches sabbath/un baptized baby sacrifice right now with her sorority sisters

    9 years ago at 5:49 pm
    1. Are You Kidding Me

      Dorn up votes her article with every masturbatory pump his neighbor kid gives him

      9 years ago at 7:24 pm
  5. The User Formerly Known as Frabst

    I’d pay $1 million to feed Sid into a wood chipper.

    9 years ago at 6:28 pm
  6. poellermann

    Id buy this town and go into debt forever before I ever became excited about a new ask intern smegma article

    9 years ago at 7:58 pm