Your 2017 NFL Draft Drinking Game

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It’s always a good time when you round up a few of the guys and watch the draft, but it can be an exercise in patience for even the most diehard NFL fan. For some reason, it seems like every team has to use up all of their allotted time to make their selection, and the endless speculation by analysts can border on sickening. With this drinking game I’ve assembled, you’ll hopefully have a much better time hurling slurred insults at your team while they set themselves up for yet another season of mediocrity. The NFL Draft will begin on Thursday, April 27 at 8 p.m. EST.

Take one drink if…

•The lack of talent at quarterback in this year’s draft is mentioned.
•Malik Hooker or Jamal Adams are referred to as “a real centerfielder.”
•The LA Rams trade up into the first round to address their piss-poor offense.
•A defensive lineman is referred to as “the safest pick in the draft.”
•Someone says “there’s no Andrew Luck in this QB class.”
•Whomever the Browns draft “will have the chance to come in and compete right away.”
•Mike Mayock is wearing a dumb outfit.
•“(Team) is looking to be more physical this year.”
•“This guy will help them make the transition to a (3-4 or 4-3).”

Take two drinks if…

•Reuben Foster falls out of the top 20 picks because of his drug test results.
•Pat Mahomes II is taken in the first round.
•Mel Kiper viciously insults a team’s pick.
•Two running backs go in the top 10.
•“Let’s hope this tight end can translate his basketball prowess into football production.”
•“Jabrill Peppers can really fly all over the field and eat up space.”
•An old analyst talks about when he played “real football,” or “back when men were men.”

Finish your drink if…

•No quarterbacks are taken in the first 10 picks.
•Davis Webb is taken in the first round.
•The Browns take Mitchell Trubisky with the first pick.
•More than three wide receivers are taken in the first round.
•Mike Mayock comes up with a dumb nickname for a player.

Specials:

•If Aaron Hernandez is mentioned in a distasteful way, drink three beers, but don’t admit to drinking any of them.
•If Ryan Leaf is mentioned, get popped for breaking into a home to steal prescription pain medication.
•If Johnny Manziel is mentioned, get a couple tattoos and lose 20 pounds.
•Any time Ray Lewis is mentioned, allegedly finish your beer and dispose of it, leaving no evidence.
•Down a whole case of beer if your team still has no hope of making the playoffs. Go Bears.

Image via YouTube

  1. Edgar_Allen_Bro24

    Open discussion- what’s you’re team and who would you love to see them draft/ who’s gonna be a bust?

    8 years ago at 11:27 am
    1. FearTheJacket

      Browns are my team till I die (kill me) but I think if they take a QB in the first round he is gonna be a bust. They don’t have enough talent around the QB to make anything significant happen this year. It’s happened so many times (Manziel, Weeden, Quinn, etc.) Build up the defense with the 2 first rounders and draft a QB next year.

      8 years ago at 11:48 am
    2. CreightonFratStar

      I’d like to see the Packers draft Dalvin Cook if possible. Outside of that we need DBs and O-line help. If we draft a TE/FB I’m going to lose my shit.

      8 years ago at 11:48 am
      1. smithpm

        Another Packer fan here and I concur. He has Zeke Elliott upside that more than justifies the risks. As long as he doesn’t get depressed in GB and finds Eddie Lacy’s list of favorite restaurants.

        8 years ago at 10:28 am
      2. Ronnie Swanson

        Another Cheesehead and I also concur. It’d be nice if we signed a veteran RB for a season and pass on taking an RB til late in the draft. If Cook falls though, he’d be hard to pass on.

        8 years ago at 11:54 am
    3. BronusWagner

      Redskins- I want Conley. Even as an Ohio State fan, I’m real worried about Lattimore’s injury history and think there’s bust potential there. Conley is the safer pick. Also like Reddick

      8 years ago at 11:56 am
      1. TFMappsucks

        I dont understand how everyone values lattimore more than conley. Conley is more experienced and was taking all the reps against opposing number 1 receivers. Lattimore is talented as hell but the stats (interceptions) are a little inflated going up against the #2 receivers. Also coming from a buckeye fan

        8 years ago at 12:03 pm
      2. ifcpresident

        Lattimore has the prototypical size they want in corners now. I think both have good value though. If Conley drops into the late teens or 20’s I think someone will be ecstatic to nab him.

        8 years ago at 12:12 pm
      3. BronusWagner

        Ya I don’t fully understand it either. I guess Conley has never wowed me, but he has consistently been a solid corner throughout his time at OSU who has great technique and makes very few mistakes. Only mistake I can honestly remember is when Fuller burned him in Fiesta Bowl. But otherwise, he’s been rock solid. Liked him better than Apple two years ago and definitely more than Lattimore this year.

        8 years ago at 1:05 pm
    4. Rutherfrat

      Im a chiefs fan, would like to see us grab Watson at QB, but I would settle for a better OL. Alex Smith is okay but having two solid qb’s fighting for the top spot might actually get us further than a divisional game, which we haven’t won since 1993…

      8 years ago at 12:12 pm
      1. SigmaPi1968

        As a Chiefs fan, as much as I’d like to see Alex Smith gone, Watson is not our guy. I’d like to see a CB, HB, maybe even more receiver help.

        8 years ago at 3:53 pm
    5. CurtisSnow69

      Panthers. Please for the love of God get us someone to protect Cam. However OL is a weak position this year. So in the 1st round I want Jonathan Allen or Carl Lawson

      8 years ago at 12:46 pm
      1. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

        At this point, they’d benefit from playing Kuechly on the other side of the ball.

        8 years ago at 3:28 pm
    6. Mitch The Godfather Martin

      I’d love to see the Chiefs take a QB like Deshaun Watson but I wouldn’t be entirely disappointed if they went after a running back or some help on the defensive side of the ball.

      8 years ago at 1:17 pm
    7. BobMotherFuckingBarker

      I’m a Jets fan, and I’d fucking love to see them take Fournette if he’s there at 6. We aren’t one player away from contending, so taking a guy like Hooker or Adams to sure up the secondary doesn’t make much sense, when the best RB prospect since Adrian Peterson is on the board. Trubisky and Kizer (I speak form experience as a Notre Dame fan) are both way too underdeveloped, and will bust. The only QB that’s worth taking, at least early on, in this draft is Watson, guy has the maturity and talent level to succeed right away in the NFL.

      8 years ago at 2:13 pm
      1. BobMotherFuckingBarker

        Yeah, and we don’t have the receivers to support a QB, doesn’t necessarily mean taking one is a bad move, if the talent level is there. Contending this year isn’t the goal. Even if his numbers aren’t anything special 1st year, you give him time to develop as you build up the O-Line over the next season or two.

        8 years ago at 2:41 pm
      2. Guy Young

        I like Watson and Mahomes and that’s pretty much it. All I know is that if my Bills draft a QB with their 1st rounder, they’re making a huge mistake because Tyrod is a solid QB. Also, if they take future mega-bust Trubisky, the whole front office is going to be fired after Tyrod demands a trade and Trubisky leads us to the 3rd worst record in the league (Jets and Browns).

        8 years ago at 4:37 pm
    8. UnKappaFifth

      Jags – package the #4, our 4th, and next years 1st to Cleveland for the #1 overall, take Myles Garrett then take Joe Mixon in the 2nd.

      8 years ago at 9:31 am
  2. CanadianB4C0N

    If the Cowboys take anyone other than secondary and pass rushers with their first 3 pick finish all the drinks and yell obscenities at Jerry Jones.

    8 years ago at 11:50 am
  3. Bro-hann Sebastian Bach

    Can we add a philly fans (draft in Philadelphia) specials?

    Boo the cowboys/Giants/redskins in some way?

    8 years ago at 11:52 am
    1. Bro-hann Sebastian Bach

      They do something really trashy “city of brotherly love” is said.

      8 years ago at 11:55 am
  4. Colonel Reb forever

    Enjoyed the draft a lot more when it was split during the weekend: three rounds Saturday, four rounds Sunday. Now it’s a three-day extravaganza that’s more indulgent than interesting, which is pretty much ESPN in a nutshell.

    8 years ago at 12:27 pm
    1. FrockFrobster

      I think Fournette is over valued and will be a flop unless he gets a line similar to the Cowboys, Pats, Raiders and the Boys don’t need him and the Pats don’t pick to round 4

      8 years ago at 2:13 pm
      1. Mitch The Godfather Martin

        Myles Garrett won’t be a bust. I don’t see any way the Browns don’t take him first overall.

        8 years ago at 9:58 pm
  5. realDoubleD

    I’m a Patriots fan. My team doesn’t have a first round draft pick, so I get to enjoy watching other teams fuck up their selections.

    8 years ago at 4:29 pm