12-Year-Old Oklahoma Girl Shoots Home Invader, Subsequently Not Raped and Murdered

Those are her words by the way, not mine…well, sort of.

“I see a lot of girls on TV that get their house broken into and they turn up missing and just knowing that that could have happened to me. I was scared,” she said, according to KOCO.

The 12-year-old girl from Calera, Oklahoma was alone when an intruder entered her home. According to reports the girl called her mother, who instructed her daughter to get the family gun and hide in the closet. When the intruder began to turn the doorknob the girl shot through the door, injuring the man (hopefully in the dick, always aim for the dick ladies). The intruder was then apprehended and taken to a hospital before being transported to the Bryan County Jail.

Now, it’s not exactly fair to make assumptions about what the intruder was there to do. It’s just as likely he broke in to steal a flatscreen as it is that he was there because of a meth induced hallucination involving a local cow telepathically commanding him to put his seed in all the tweens of Bryan County. But the fact that he was chasing after the girl in the closet instead of happily pilfering the family’s electronics while she hid scared in a corner of the house is pretty telling.

Let this be a lesson to all the criminal perverts out there. If you want to kidnap a child, it’s probably best not to do it in the rural areas of states with loose gun control laws, where an armed and responsibly trained populous lives. I’m fairly confident this intruder would have had an easier time abducting a grown man in Portland, Oregon.



  1. Guy In A Fraternity

    Here’s hoping that this again ignites national discussion regarding training and appropriate use of guns in the same way that the Aurora shooting and the Virginia Tech shooting did.

    But who am I kidding? That doesn’t get people’s attention.

    12 years ago at 12:48 pm
  2. Football

    My dad literally owns 18 rifles, 6 shotguns and 4 handguns. And I am from the Northwest. Fuck you Bacon, fuck you.

    12 years ago at 1:55 pm
    1. QuintanaBreeze

      What does you being from the North have to do with your old man owning firearms? Do you not own a firearm, son? The old man tells you not to touch em too, huh? Who am I even talking to here? Is this Scottie Smalls from Sandlot? Dennis Leary is probably banging your mom.

      12 years ago at 2:04 pm