17 Easiest Ways To Get Laid According To Porn
Getting laid can be a chore. You know who has it easy, though? People in pornos. It seems like they’re getting laid left and right by just taking part in every day life. What’s their secret? Thanks to the great users at Reddit, we now know some of the easiest ways to get laid according to porn.
From Reddit:
Walk in on two women already having sex. That’s why I never knock.
If you’re knocking, you’re not trying.
Get caught masturbating.
This happened to me in high school.
Have a vagina, do literally anything.
This one actually works if you’re a girl.
Fail a test and stay after class for tutoring.
Try this method out next time you fail.
Put your dick in a box, give that box to someone.
Specifically, make it a pizza box. Girls love pizza.
Own a black leather couch in a white-walled room.
I’m no interior designer, but that look is too bland for me.
Drive a taxi and be a rapist.
What kind of porn is this guy watching?
Walk in on your daughter fucking her boyfriend and show them how it’s done.
“Move out of the way, son. She’s MY daughter and I’ll be the one giving her the good D.”
Just whip it out.
Public exposure. TFM.
Peeking at people through doors while they’re changing or showering.
Pick up a hitchhiker.
It must be against the law because it leads to tons of boning.
Salesperson with lots of discounting. Landlord to a poor sexy college girl.
If you’re looking for a career path filled with puss, this is it.
Go over to your buddy’s house when he’s not there.
Banging hot sisters is what friends are for.
If it’s in Japan, riding a train.
You can always count on public transit.
Go to the bank, and make sure to tell them about your BIG deposit. Bonus points if you make into the safety deposit vault.
Make sure you wink too so they know what you’re talking about.
Already having a girlfriend that just so happens to have a hot mom.
Always check the family tree before locking yourself down.
Get or give a massage.
Speaking of which, my back is a little sore.
To read more tips on how to get laid according to porn, go HERE..
[via Reddit]
Fuck you Steve.
10 years ago at 1:23 pmWas there a point in time when Steve Holt wasn’t considered… the worst?
10 years ago at 3:56 pmIt appears the tipping point was July 2015. It was just one patchwork plagiarism article too many.
Also, thanks for the laps, buttfucks.
10 years ago at 4:12 pmNo.
10 years ago at 4:52 pmOnly Steve Holt would think porn would be an appropriate place to look for ACTUAL ways to get laid.
10 years ago at 5:38 pmHe couldn’t get laid unless he was a porn star. And even then it’s a stretch. Can you blame the guy?
10 years ago at 11:18 pmWhat the fuck was this?
10 years ago at 1:33 pmall i have to do is read the article title and if i see that its something related to sex, 9/10 its a Steve Holt post. fuck a cactus Steve
10 years ago at 1:36 pmHow not to get laid: be SteveHolt
10 years ago at 1:44 pmMy friend’s hot mom walked in on me choking the nun in the bathroom (jr high, ya know). Normally just a run of the mill awkward, laughable experience. Except she came in right as I was gonna bust (which I did. Never finish a job unfinished). I’ve never felt pleasure, fear, and embarrassment all at the same time like that
10 years ago at 1:49 pmSteve we all know youve never been laid before
10 years ago at 1:51 pmaside from the usual bs about insulting Steve and this not being related to fraternity life, the taxi cab rapist comment had me busting up.
10 years ago at 1:56 pm“Move out of the way, son. She’s MY daughter and I’ll be the one giving her the good D.”
I’m not 100% sure, but I don’t think those are the correct roles for this scenario. This sounds more like the wild and wonderful whites of west Virginia
10 years ago at 2:10 pmDAMN IT STEVE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE….
10 years ago at 2:13 pmPretty sure the parent walking in on their kid wasn’t supposed to be a dad.
10 years ago at 2:55 pm