21 Tips That Will Help Prevent Premature Ejaculation
As men, we aren’t the greatest of lovers. Some of us are one-pump chumps, and a few of us are marathon men. Personally, I’m a marathon man — which explains why all the ladies always come back for more. Lasting longer is key, and I can’t give out my own personal secrets.
Thankfully, here are 21 tips from strangers to help you strut your stuff a little longer in bed.
“Dont nut dont nut dont nut dont nut. Fuck…. I’m sorry”
Do you ever say it so fast you start saying donut and start craving some Krispy Kreme?
I plan what I’m going to do the following day. That works AND it’s rather practical. My SO will occasionally get a bit confused if post coital I’ll ask them if they want to go to the store tomorrow.
That’s what we in the biz call killing two birds with one stone.
Fibonacci sequence
It’s never ending and gets more difficult the longer you go on. Seems prefect aside from my raging boner when someone says one one two three five.
I like to say it backwards. It adds effectiveness.
If cumming too quickly is seriously a concern, I typically stop and embrace a bit more foreplay or switch positions
That’s a little too much work.
I envision a 400lb, fat blob riding me instead.
What if one is actually riding you?
Margaret thatcher on a cold day.
Only bad part about this is that you lose your boner and can’t get it back.
I used to try and spell convoluted words in my head to try and help against this.
Try spelling this: “S-T-E-V-E-H-O-L-T-I-S-G-O-D.”
I cycle through the entire starting lineup and pitching rotation of the Tampa Bay Rays.
If you really want a challenge, do the Phillies.
For some reason I always think about someone cleaving my dick into slice
Jesus, man. Kids are reading.
Square numbers in your head.
Lot of math nerds in this thread.
Advanced calculus
Bonus points if you’re doing DifEq.
“Fuck. About to finish. Time to sneakily pull out and take a 15 sec break while I kiss her, call her beautiful and tell her what position I want to do next!”
You had me until the beautiful part.
I always think of the most efficient way to design a fridge, and where my food would go in that fridge. Very satisfying.
It’s always a dilemma about what goes up top: milk or my juice pouches.
Poop. I think of poop.
You’re just sick, man.
Naming all the pokemon I can in my head
Gotta catch ’em all.
I usually give myself trivia, like name the 50 state capitols or Name all 9 radiohead albums.
Radiohead? Ha! Nerd.
I try and name all of the presidents. I usually only get to Millard Fillmore.
I’m trying to just last longer, not lose my erection.
I close my eyes and think of england.
Those blokes have a way with cumming.
Thinking about speeches of Russian politicians in 20th century.
Thinking of Putin might make me harder.
Licking my grandma’s scabbed kneecap.
We found the sickest dude in the world.
I stop picturing someone else.
I think we have a winner.
To read more tips on how to last longer, click here..
[via Reddit]
Pro Tip: Before you think you’re going to cum, imagine she is a liberal.
9 years ago at 2:11 pmTry less.
9 years ago at 2:16 pmYou say ‘pro tip’ like you are actually having sex.
9 years ago at 3:57 pmI feel you stole your name from Workaholics
9 years ago at 8:36 am22. Just before you’re about to ejaculate, pull out a gun and blow your fucking head off.
9 years ago at 2:12 pmWhich head? Instructions not clear.
9 years ago at 2:15 pmHis fucking head.
9 years ago at 7:36 pmThinking about intern Shirley’s depressing life always helps.
9 years ago at 2:15 pmOr her career plan
9 years ago at 5:11 pmwould still hit it
9 years ago at 7:20 amWhy would I want to prevent this? Sounds like her problem.
9 years ago at 2:17 pm“Eh yeah sounds like a you problem. Plan B pills are on the nightstand, see ya at the English final.”
9 years ago at 4:06 pmOr you could just follow Jordan Belfort’s example and “fuck her brains out” for 11 seconds and then proceed to ask her if she came
9 years ago at 2:20 pmIf I’m inside one of her three holes,it’s not premature, it’s right on time.
9 years ago at 9:53 pmSomebody wake up Fatty and tell him to post the Babe of the Day.
9 years ago at 11:58 am22. Think of a Steve Holt article
9 years ago at 2:21 pmJesus do you ever want to cum again
9 years ago at 6:41 pmDid I shoot yet? I can’t tell I have a very rare condition where I can’t feel anything but things like that fall to the waist side when there are ants in your eyes I don’t even know if my little guys’ in your cat or your ear I’m Ants In My Eyes Johnson!
9 years ago at 2:23 pmThis is arguably the most poorly executed novelty account on this website. If you want to be funny, comment exclusively on Instagram Babe of the Day and compliment her on physical features she clearly doesn’t have. When you’ve done that once, delete your account, because you suck.
9 years ago at 2:49 pmFrank Sinatra! I have all of your records! Why were you so mean to Mia Farrow? Would you like to be Facebook friends?
9 years ago at 5:52 pmAlso… Wayside.
9 years ago at 8:36 pmAttempting to get the girl to cum first is dumb anyways, female orgasms don’t exist. Go retake middle school science you idiot
9 years ago at 2:25 pmShow us your knockers
9 years ago at 2:30 pmFuck off
9 years ago at 2:39 pmDon’t show us your tits
9 years ago at 5:10 pmfuck you steve, play in traffic
9 years ago at 2:41 pmwhy wouldn’t I want to cum earlier? it’s a race that I always win.
9 years ago at 2:55 pm