27 Pledge Name Ideas
Most times, when coming up with a good pledge name, that name will have something to do with the person you’re giving it to. For example, my pledge name was “Gary.” Seems innocuous, until you realize my pledge brother and best friend from high school/roommate was given the name Ace. We were Ace and Gary, The Ambiguously Gay Duo. Well played, assholes.
Unfortunately, I don’t know your pledges, though it seems safe to assume that they’re terrible. Thankfully, however, a good pledge name, if not based on something about the kid, is basically just the filthiest, most degrading and clever thing you can think of. Take or leave these suggestions, or improve upon them. Some could have some relevancy to a certain kid (gets no pussy, bangs fatties, is a walking waste of life, etc.), and some are just word combos that made me giggle when imagining calling someone by them. Regardless, here I am, sitting in my office this afternoon, with nothing better to do than put funny, dirty words together in the hopes that they will be attached to some poor 18-year-old bastard.
1. Jizz Beard
2. Fluffer
3. Scrotal Crease
4. Ass Gerbil
5. Dr. Hymen Mangler
6. Fupa Diver
7. Scottie Tip-In
8. Arrid Extra Dry: For Vaginas
9. Faptrick ‘Bates-to-men
10. Grundle Flap
11. Person of No Interest
12. Dishonorable Cheesy Discharge
13. No-Her Vortex
14. Captain Full Hips
15. Rectum Ralph
16. The Dry In King
17. Hobo Penis Face
18. Pee
19. Clitoral Dissatisfaction
20. Tip Gripper
21. Pubic Dandruff
22. Self-Induced Shaft Erosion
23. Living Diarrhea
24. Walking Condom PSA
25. That Pledge Who No One Likes
26. Legacy…Of Failure
27. Fully Grown Errant Hot Tub Load
Feel free to leave your own in the comments.
28. Bacon
11 years ago at 9:34 pmI would comment about how utterly retarded this column was if I didn’t laugh so hard at hobo penis face.
11 years ago at 11:13 pmyou retards really need to learn how to write articles without fucking lists
11 years ago at 9:07 amThis is the quality of shit I expect from SFPL. Oh and
28. SFPL
11 years ago at 10:03 amThere was a guy we had coming around who didn’t pledge because he accidentally gave himself the nickname of DJ Fudgepacker. it was probably for the best
11 years ago at 1:13 pmGoobz
11 years ago at 5:45 am