28 Halloween Costumes That Are Almost Guaranteed To Get You Laid
Halloween is in nine days, and something tells me you lazy losers still have no idea what you’re going to dress up as. That the case? Yeah, that’s definitely the case.
Lucky for you, I, in my infinite benevolence, have decided to sift through and select 28 of the best costume ideas out there. Sure, I may have faced having special privileges like “lunch” and “free oxygen” taken away from me at the office had I not completed this task, but I was going to do it anyways because I’m such a great guy.
My challenge for you is to come up with better costumes than these. What’s in it for you? If you submit your photo to our 2015 Halloween photo contest, you can win a free spring break trip for you and 3 of your buddies or some Rowdy Gentleman gift cards. Check it out.
The Eiffel Tower guys want each other so bad.
9 years ago at 12:35 pmMake it one page, intern.
9 years ago at 12:38 pmSteve Holt already decorated for Christmas. Fuck you, Steve Holt.
9 years ago at 12:38 pmPersonally I’m gonna get a lion costume and smear some fake blood on it and tell everyone that I’m Cecil the lion and see many people will get offended by it.
9 years ago at 12:40 pmUnsure why this is getting laps. I feel obligated to offend this year. And Halloween provides the perfect excuse. Women can be sluts, and we can be assholes. Cecil the lion, Caitlin Jenner, the BP oil spill. All great ideas. I’m hoping I cause a group of liberals to spontaneously combust into flames, due to outrage.
9 years ago at 1:00 pmI couldn’t agree more. It fucking sickens me how offended everyone was when they heard the news, yet they don’t even realize that Zimbabwe is a 3rd world country with way bigger problems than one fucking lion being killed. Problems such as not having access to clean water, lack of economic structure and a shit ton of others as well. That’s why I hope I piss them off just as much as they piss me off, and hopefully shed some light on these assholes by showing them fucking good they really have it here, and that they need to get a life outside of their computers and smart phones and go outside into the real world where they can actually try and make a difference and not spend all of their time bitching and whining on the internet thinking that’ll solve all of their problems. Sorry for the rant but this shits been building up inside of me for weeks now.
9 years ago at 2:34 pm“…and not spend all of their time bitching and whining on the internet…”
The irony
9 years ago at 3:57 pmOh I get it. The article is intentionally terrible. Thanks intern
9 years ago at 12:44 pmIntern what do you know about getting laid? Your uncle doesn’t count.
9 years ago at 12:45 pmI heard blackface is a good costume to wear on college campuses, everyone loves diversity.
9 years ago at 12:54 pmIf you’re at Clemson don’t forget the sombrero either
9 years ago at 1:16 pmBlackface is fine as long as you get the right color shoe polish and make the lips funny TFrankReynoldsM
9 years ago at 7:13 pmThe brazzers one is pretty damn good.
9 years ago at 12:55 pmI’m not taking advice on how to get laid from the intern
9 years ago at 12:58 pmI’m going as Borat in an badly fitting grey suit, and my girlfriend is going as Pam Anderson in the Baywatch one-piece. We are going to show up to parties and bars separately so that I can hunt for her crying “Pamela Pamela I make romance explosion on your stomach!” When I spot her I will throw her into a large sack and carry her to the next party. Thank God I’m friends with a few cops in Charleston…and don’t have any jewish friends.
9 years ago at 12:59 pm