28 Halloween Costumes That Are Almost Guaranteed To Get You Laid
9 years ago

Halloween is in nine days, and something tells me you lazy losers still have no idea what you’re going to dress up as. That the case? Yeah, that’s definitely the case.

Lucky for you, I, in my infinite benevolence, have decided to sift through and select 28 of the best costume ideas out there. Sure, I may have faced having special privileges like “lunch” and “free oxygen” taken away from me at the office had I not completed this task, but I was going to do it anyways because I’m such a great guy.

My challenge for you is to come up with better costumes than these. What’s in it for you? If you submit your photo to our 2015 Halloween photo contest, you can win a free spring break trip for you and 3 of your buddies or some Rowdy Gentleman gift cards. Check it out.

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Ghillie suit
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Your fat pledge brother
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The Brazzers film crew
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The Founding Fratters
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Zach Mettenberger
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Captain Jack Sparrow
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Chubbs
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Dairy Wine cows
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“Because you’re the cup”
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Casual squirrels
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Mike Ditka squadron
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The Eiffel Tower
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  2. Saber and Key

    What’s the over/under on number of fraternities that get in trouble next week for “offensive” Halloween costumes by the PC police?

    9 years ago at 1:06 pm
  3. Spensdurka

    Whoever convinced girls that underwear and wings was a Halloween costume deserves a medal.

    9 years ago at 1:07 pm
  4. Lord Farquads

    I’m the guy dressed as Blake, and let me tell ya, I didn’t even get laid by my gf

    9 years ago at 1:18 pm
  8. Grenade_Diving_Wingman

    Intern, I am going to dress up as a locomotive and lead a train on your mother the next time you write crap like this

    9 years ago at 2:43 pm
  9. RoguePhi

    Surprised Sarah Jessica Parker wasn’t there. All you need is a horse head mask and a name tag

    9 years ago at 2:52 pm
  10. SperryHairy

    Nobody who’s dressed up as a fucking Lego character is getting laid. End of story.

    9 years ago at 4:05 pm