3 Reasons You’ll Suck In 2016: Michigan State University

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3. Your offense is a mess.

This has got to be the most inexperienced, least talented (on paper of course), and seemingly hopeless offense of the Mark Dantonio era. Highlighted by the departures of Connor Cook, Aaron Burbridge, and Jack Conklin, the Spartans lose an astonishing (when you consider their abysmal recruiting (again, on paper)) three former All-Americans and five All-Big Ten talents.

Replacing Cook and both All-American linemen will be nearly impossible, as the young Spartans turn to a ground-based attack paced by LJ Scott to navigate the early part of a rough 2016 schedule. Losing your top receiver, an All-American and top ten overall pick on the line, and possibly the greatest QB in school history is a Chernobyl-level disaster for the “Dean of Discipline” in East Lansing.

2. Your rivals are ascending rapidly.

I realize it’s hard to claim Ohio state is ascending after a 2014 national championship and a twelve win 2015, but their transformation into Alabama North is in full swing. Urban Meyer is skull fucking all of America on the recruiting trail on his way to what will probably be the highest regarded class in the history of college football. The Buckeyes, even after losing more NFL draft picks to the 2016 NFL draft than rival Michigan has had drafted since George W. Bush was in the Oval Office, are still the Big Ten media favorites.

Michigan, on the other hand, is in the midst of a warp speed rebuild in the hands of golden boy former QB Jim Harbaugh, who’s well on his way to making the Wolverines relevant again for the first time since most of us were in elementary school. Barring the most ridiculous play in the history of mankind last season, the Wolverines had MSU beat, even with Cook and a far less experienced Michigan in Harbaugh’s first season. Now, the Wolverines are somehow the most popular national championship bet, put a basketball player on their football jerseys (for some reason), signed one of the greatest classes in school history that included the nation’s number 1 overall player, and supposedly feature the nation’s best defense.

1. Your Secondary

I’d be willing to bet you can’t name a single person in Michigan State’s back four — unless you go to MSU, I suppose. What was formerly well on its way to becoming a miniature “DB U” has completely fallen off the wagon, with the 2015 Spartans finishing a very pedestrian middle of the Big Ten pack in defensive pass efficiency.

Things have not improved. Aside from returning starter Riley Bullough (wait, another one?), the Spartans feature inexperienced, low-rated “talent” on the back end that will have vertical passing offenses salivating. Michigan State will again, as always, feature a strong front seven, but has never been more vulnerable against the pass in an era in which their conference has never been more prolific through the air.

Reasons for hope

1. Dantonio & Co.

For all the shit the perpetually angry Spartan head man gets for his demeanor and apparent lack of personality, give me Mark Dantonio over ANYBODY in player development. MSU has recruited in the middle of the Big Ten pack according to most ranking services during his tenure, all while winning more conference games, and championships, than any team outside Columbus. With Dantonio, a two-star can become a blue chip prospect once he arrives on campus.

2. Front seven

Led by what might be the best defensive lineman in the nation in Malik McDowell, the “Spartan Dawgs” vacillate between borderline elite and downright unstoppable up front, with an experienced set of returning linebackers and legitimate NFL talent littering the line. MSU will be extremely difficult to run against while terrorizing opposing quarterbacks attempting to pray on their weak secondary.

3. Schedule

Home field is more important in college football than in any other sport. Last season, a staggering 70+ percent of home teams won conference matchups, a striking discrepancy when compared to the NFL. This season, the Spartans get Michigan, Ohio State, and Wisconsin at home, with their toughest conference road game likely at lowly Penn State. While an early trip to South Bend is a definite loss, the conference slate is extremely palatable for a team stranded in one of football’s toughest divisions.

Projection: 8-4

The offense never finds its footing, but the stout defensive front keeps MSU in most games, aside from decisive losses to both OSU and Michigan. It’s a true testament to the job Dantonio has done in East Lansing that 8-4 is considered a “down year” for the Spartans, after the debacle that was the John L. Smith and Bobby Williams eras, stewing in the wake of Nick Saban’s abrupt departure. MSU is a team, however, at a crossroads with OSU and U of M primed to make the conference the Big Two and little 10 (now twelve) again.

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  1. InHoc04

    An anti-Michgan State article from Sibs (aka Michigan homer)! Color me shocked…

    9 years ago at 9:57 am
    1. Siblings of Mark Wahlberg

      I’m not sure how you can consider this anti-MSU when I say Mark Dantonio is the best talent developer in the country and predict a record better than Vegas has for the 2016 Spartans.

      But I guess with these columns if I don’t say everybody is going 12-0 somebody calls me something.

      9 years ago at 9:58 am
      1. Frogon

        So you’re saying they’re going to suck, but they’re still a “lock” to go over the 7.5 win spread? I got the whole house riding after that article Siblings.

        9 years ago at 12:31 pm
      2. Siblings of Mark Wahlberg

        It’s a very good bet some books now have them at 7. That’s a lock. Worst case push.

        9 years ago at 12:58 pm
      3. SuperSpy1897

        Just because you state an undeniable fact (that Dantonio is one the best player developers in the game) does not make you unbiased. Your several football articles, taken as a whole, makes it very clear you have a woody for Michigan. I still enjoyed this article though; I expected an uninformed MSU bashing and that’s exactly what I got.

        9 years ago at 12:45 pm
      4. Siblings of Mark Wahlberg

        Ok so what about this was uninformed? Is Tyler O’Conner (5 years after arriving on campus) the next Connor Cook? Is the middling pass defense all of a sudden elite? Did I incorrectly site ever recruiting ranking service?

        Oh wait, I said your favorite team would have a decent, but not exceptional, season. Sorry.

        9 years ago at 12:58 pm
      5. SuperSpy1897

        Well first, it’s “cite” not site. Second, Tyler O’Connor has more experience than anyone on one of MSU’s “ascending” rivals. Will he be the next CC? Probably not through the air but his feet make the QB option a legitimate threat for once. As for the ascending rivals bit: OSU is not ascending because it has nowhere to rise. As for UM, they beat no one they weren’t supposed to and to claim they will be worlds better than last year is foolish. Your article was uninformed for failing to mention these points, not to mention the fact numerous 6th year seniors are returning; you probably have no idea who Copeland or Ed Davis is. 8-4 isn’t the worst prediction, though it’s far too low. 9-3 (10-3 including the bowl game) at worst.

        9 years ago at 6:44 pm
  2. Hotrod

    I’m impressed you were able to write this article while simultaneously beating off both Urban Meyer and Jim Harbaugh.

    9 years ago at 10:06 am
    1. Siblings of Mark Wahlberg

      Yes, the ultimate sign of a biased writer is someone who can compliment both U of M and OSU. Got it.

      But regardless, what Meyer is doing in Columbus is unbelievable.

      9 years ago at 10:07 am
      1. Hotrod

        I guess I can’t be too upset with you considering you posses the ability to write using complete sentences on interesting topics unlike the majority of TFM writers.

        9 years ago at 10:47 am
  3. Shut up Meg

    Fuck michigan and osu. But more importantly, fuck michigan. Minnesota can get fucked to. Fuck you puss ass too indiana.

    9 years ago at 10:33 am
      1. Shut up Meg

        I am not, i just resent them less than the rest of your shitstack conference, champ.

        9 years ago at 11:10 am
  4. Username12_13

    Harbaugh is most overrated Coach in CFB history. Hasn’t done anything yet.

    9 years ago at 11:10 am
    1. Bush Light

      It never ceases to amaze me how some people just cannot acknowledge the fact that UM is going to be extremely relevant again. Sure, they haven’t done shit yet, but you cannot ignore their recruiting classes and the talent they’ll be putting on the field the next decade. They’re bound to be perennial 10-11+ win team, just accept it.

      9 years ago at 3:39 pm
      1. SuperSpy1897

        Stop reading Michigan blogs for a minute and do some research for once; Google is not hard to use. He’s a sophomore.

        9 years ago at 12:41 pm
  5. Drunk Chris Berman

    Honestly MSU could beat Michigan at home, and it would only be because it’s in East Lansing and because of how big the game is. The MSU game has trap game written all over it for Michigan.

    9 years ago at 11:50 am
  6. Pudge

    As a #2 last season MSU almost lost to Purdue. 21-24 against a team that looks like their playbook was created by a 10 year old playing madden.

    MSU isn’t going to be shit this year. 7-5 tops.

    9 years ago at 11:52 am
    1. Doffman12

      It’s like Michigan fans forget that they squeaked out of the Indiana game and the Minnesota game with a win…

      9 years ago at 12:15 pm
      1. Jim_Harbaugh

        Purdue got blown out by Minnesota and Indiana. I’m not saying Minnesota and IU are good, but they’re not on the same level as Purdue

        9 years ago at 12:28 pm
      2. mexican falafel

        1) the transitive property doesn’t work for shit in college football 2) the game against purdue was played in cold heavy rain for a large portion of the game

        9 years ago at 8:22 pm