30 Things I Learned While Pledging

1. Hearing the same song over and over again is the best way to drive someone insane.

2. Being cocky will get you some places in life, but it will never make you a Brother.

3. I’ll never be able to comfortably wear a white t-shirt and khaki shorts again, repressed memories.

4. Your pledge brothers have your back for life.

5. A little apple juice and cinnamon will tame even the cheapest of vodkas.

6. The number one rule at all-nude strip clubs? “Don’t touch the cookie.”

7. Average looking sorority girls usually have hot friends.

8. The more ridiculous your social outfit, the more likely a gal’s going to rip it off of you later in the night.

9. If your National Exam has the bonus question “What’s your least favorite food?” don’t answer it, because that’s all you’re going to be eating come Hell Week.

10. No matter how well you think you know the Greek Alphabet, you’re probably going to fuck it up when a gargantuan bourbon-chugging 7th year is yelling at you.

11. Avoiding work at the house will only bite you in the ass later.

12. If you’re the only pledge with a truck, you’re going to have to do twice as much work.

13. C’s get degrees.

14. 75% of Fake ID success depends on how confidently you hand it to the bouncer.

15. “All You Can Drink” is a suggestion, not a challenge.

16. Designated driving shifts can range anywhere from “entertaining” to “that was the worst night of my life.”

17. Even when you think you know what’s going on, you really have no idea.

18. You can never meet too many Freshman girls.

19. RA’s don’t appreciate the amount of beer you can store in your mini-fridge the same way you do.

20. Getting rushed is awesome, being the rusher sucks sweaty donkey balls.

21. Ten minutes early is on-time. On-time is late.

22. Even when we thought we were right, we were wrong.

23. The duties for Pledge Class Sergeant at Arms are very limited.

24. Cockblocking a brother has horrific consequences.

25. If you pass out with your shoes on and only wake up with marker on your face consider yourself lucky.

26. Throw up in someone’s room and you’re guaranteed to have to clean it for the rest of your pledgeship.

27. The first and last words out of your mouth should always be “Sir.”

28. The less sleep you’re getting, the closer you are to finishing.

29. If you get a good pledge nickname, prepared to be called that the rest of your life.

30. Initiation night is guaranteed to be one of the best of your life.

    1. The Standard

      I firmly believe that knowing whats going to happen is the worst part. Pledging is about the experience, and that experience is ruined with no surprise.

      12 years ago at 10:43 pm
    2. brocephus1865

      I think it was the mind fuck of thinking you know what was gonna happen but you really had no idea.

      12 years ago at 8:17 pm
  1. Haze Em

    Hey guys don’t forget to pick up your copy of Max Payne 3! It comes out tomorrow on the 15th hurry hurry!!!!!

    12 years ago at 2:08 pm
  2. ImNateHlggers

    StuffFratPeopleLike, if you make one more fucking list I’m going to murder your first born child. However, you probably won’t have one considering the fact that you are a flaming homosexual. Fuck you.

    12 years ago at 2:09 pm
    1. Dennis Reynolds

      Thank goodness for another list. Hopefully Roger_Dorn will be bringing us “Top ten frattest pubic hair styles” tomorrow. C’mon, Roger_, I’m counting on you.

      12 years ago at 2:41 pm
  3. Judge

    31. If you are a senior in high school and you think this list will help make your pledgeship easier. It won’t

    12 years ago at 2:40 pm
    1. Brovis Love III

      i keep waiting to be inundated with pictures. and a report that no one can find bacon.

      12 years ago at 10:03 pm