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- Hit “reply all” on a professor’s blast email just to tell him/her you’ll be missing class.
- CC the dean when you point out a professor’s mistake in the notes.
- Accept the Yeti, skip the formal.
- Hedge your formal bets, all within the same sorority. Then bring a rival girl.
- Buy the kid with Celiac’s Disease a beer (the hoppier the better).
- Go to one of your rival’s rush events just for the food.
- Invite the chancellor or head of Greek life to said rival’s party later that night.
- Show up to class without pants.
- Start the wave in class when the professor starts to bore you.
- Interject with random questions during someone else’s presentation.
- Go to yoga class, but don’t do any yoga.
- Take your pre-workout after you finish working out.
- Pregame everything.
- Request a hearing for every parking ticket you receive.
- Attempt to write said tickets off your taxes as “goodwill” when you’re not granted a hearing.
- Shit with the door open, including public bathrooms.
- Take summer classes, but never attend.
- Treat every reserved, non-handicap parking space as up for grabs.
- Treat the handicap parking spaces as tailgating spaces.
- Never park your own car.
- Arrange a chauffeur from every social function, even if you drove yourself.
- Drink your coffee with pre-workout.
- Drink your coffee with cocaine.
- Drink your coffee black.
- Pay your hookup and kick her out.
- Then call an escort and charge her for your services.
- Meet the president and don’t shake his hand.
- Then give the first lady a bro hug.
- Take a humanities/fine arts class you don’t need just to set the curve out of reach of the fine arts kids.
- Earn a full ride and graduate in seven years..
SFPL did it better.
8 years ago at 11:30 amTerrible
8 years ago at 11:36 amThis is just stupid
8 years ago at 11:38 amJesus fucking christ dude how did you get this job
8 years ago at 11:42 am31. Push Kramer off the roof of the library
8 years ago at 11:54 amI think the reply all and putting the college Dean on CC was actually pretty funny
8 years ago at 12:03 pmThe handicap ones weren’t even funny just straight up dick moves
8 years ago at 12:17 pmI could eat alphabet soup, and shit out a better article than this.
8 years ago at 12:28 pmThis was a new low even for you
8 years ago at 12:55 pmHoly hell this was a nightmare to read through
8 years ago at 1:09 pm