31 Questions You Ask Yourself The Morning After Blacking The Fuck Out
9 years ago

willis blackout

  1. Where am I?
  2. Did I pull a hammy?
  3. Whose sombrero is this?
  4. What happened last night?
  5. Who is she?
  6. Where is my phone?
  7. Do I have any new texts?
  8. Who is Emily?
  9. Is that Emily?
  10. We have a cat?
  11. Is that hole new?
  12. Should I wash my sheets?
  13. Her blood or mine?
  14. Did I happen to find a condom and then use it?
  15. What time does the student health center open?
  16. If she wakes up and I’m gone will she get the hint?
  17. Where are my shoes?
  18. Who’s paying for my new door?
  19. Why is there a mirror on the fire escape?
  20. Is that a Dr. Seuss tattoo?
  21. Why is the statue from the quad in my kitchen?
  22. Why did I Uber to Mexico?
  23. Why did I take a selfie with a taco vender and caption it “El Chapo lives!”
  24. What legal trouble am I facing?
  25. Does Diplomatic Immunity apply?
  26. When does Smash graduate from law school?
  27. How did I bruise my knuckles?
  28. I fought who?
  29. Did I win?
  30. Are the kegs tapped?
  31. Is Chik-fil-A open today?
  8. Cuntpunting

    Steve Holt wrote this and submitted it under Midrangejumpshot_2009 to make him look shitty. That’s the only logical explanation I can find for how fucking awful this was. Fuck you.

    9 years ago at 1:52 pm
  9. Dan Regester-edsexoffender

    You left out the two most common questions, did I close my tab out and how much did I spend

    9 years ago at 2:33 pm
  10. RomoInThe4th

    I can’t believe the “editors” looked at this and said, “Yeah, this is a passible article that our audience can relate to.”

    9 years ago at 3:26 pm