trash lunches

4 Trash Meals You’re Probably Eating For Lunch

trash lunches

Lunch is my favorite meal of the day and, in my opinion, the most important meal as well. As far as what my lunch typically consists of, I’m a pretty simple guy. I’ll usually go for a turkey club on wheat, chicken Caesar salad, or pasta dish of some sort. If I’m feeling adventurous, I might hit up happy hour at a local Tex-Mex spot for steak quesadillas and a mango margarita. Regardless of which of these I select on any given day, my lunches never resemble those of a 7-year-old like many of y’alls. A ton of grown-ass adults are out here eating trash foods for lunch and I don’t understand it. Allow me to shed some light on the main culprits.


The people at Oscar Meyer clearly don’t give a fuck about children’s nutrition. I mean, whose bright idea was it to package together bland crackers, meat discs, and sliced government cheese and feed it to kids? This should not be considered lunch for them, nor for any post-adolescent human. Lunchables are Dollar Tree charcuterie and nothing more. Also, I’m pretty sure that I could stack up an entire container and eat it in like three bites. Don’t get me started on the pizza Lunchables either, with their stale, oversized wafers. They’re basically DIY training kits for future Domino’s employees.

Chef Boyardee

I’m not sure where this guy received his culinary training, but his food isn’t remotely close to fine dining. I’m guessing that he couldn’t hang with the likes of Gordon Ramsay or Wolfgang Puck, so he resorted to mass-producing shitty, faux-Italian cuisine. Sure, I used to eat the chef’s microwavable ravioli as a kid, but that was before I developed the refined palate that I have now. Not to mention, I remember watching a YouTube video of a woman finding a dead rat inside of her can. The mere thought of that should be more than enough for you to stop eating this stuff. If you have a sudden craving for mediocre Italian food, just swing by your local Fazoli’s instead.

Mac And Cheese With Chopped-Up Hot Dogs

This might seem like a curveball, but you would be surprised at how many people actually enjoy this trash meal. First off, a bowl of mac and cheese alone just has “broke boi” written all over it. It’s like if I was to eat a giant bowl of mashed potatoes with gravy, but that’s it; a side dish cannot also be your main entrée. The addition of hot dogs to your cheesy bowl of poverty doesn’t make it any better either. The only time it’s acceptable to consume hot dogs is when you’re at the ballpark, and that’s because they’re meant to complement your overpriced pint of beer. Hot dogs provide zero nutritional value, and we’re not completely sure what the fuck they’re made out of either. So why would you even eat them on a regular basis?

Flamin’ Hot Cheetos

I’ll keep this one short and simple: Lil Xan literally almost died from eating too many of these, which I didn’t even know was physically possible. Just imagine what could happen to you if you keep eating Flamin’ Hots on a daily basis. Your body, as well as your lunch, deserve way better than this.

Image via Flickr/Mike Mozart