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- She owns an inflatable swan, donut, or killer whale.
- She owns a one piece with the words “dope” or “bae” on the front.
- Her mom has had more husbands than she’s had boyfriends.
- She posts text only Instagrams of common quotes and phrases to express her individuality.
- The only older man in her life isn’t her father.
- She has more than 10K Instagram followers.
- She pimps out tea, beauty products, or workout supplements to those followers.
- She claims all three cities of NYC, Miami, and LA in her bio.
- She documents every time she ever eats a slice of pizza.
- She only has guy friends because girls are “too much drama.”
- Self described “free spirit” who still hasn’t quite “found herself.”
- She “lives to travel” despite never leaving the state.
- Those nudes came a little too easy.
- She considers any time spent with a guy that owns a DSLR a professional photoshoot.
- You’re non-existent on all of her social media accounts.
- In fact, there’s not a single photo of her with anyone but herself on her social media accounts.
- She works out at the gym with her hair down.
- She makes a public display of tanning on campus.
- She went to both weekends of Coachella.
- She listens to The Weeknd and G-Eazy.
- She’s been on multiple DJ tour buses.
- She wears heels everywhere, including your intramural sports games and the fraternity house.
- She’s the sweetheart of another fraternity.
- She vapes.
- She takes photos eating dick shaped foods.
- She uses the dog filter on Snapchat on a daily basis.
- She drives a white Range Rover.
- She has a ribcage tat.
- She idolizes Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, or Lana Del Rey.
- Grinding with other dudes isn’t a “big deal.”
- Neither is anything that’s “not penetration.”
- Her sexual résumé consist of nothing but club promotors, bartenders, and athletes.
- She always “knows a guy” with bottle service.
- You’ve heard her drop “I don’t usually do this” on multiple occasions.
- The first time you had sex wasn’t in a bedroom.
- You slipped it backdoor without her even acknowledging it wasn’t her vagina.
- She goes to community college.
- She goes to a directional school.
- She goes to a state school.
- You weren’t cast in her role playing fantasies.
- You see her with a dick inside her that isn’t yours.
- She exists.
Number 29 is a dead giveaway.
9 years ago at 2:13 pmShe interns at TFM
9 years ago at 2:20 pm43. She sucks another guys dick while you’re slipping her the hot beef injection from behind
9 years ago at 2:27 pmSounds like you’re familiar with the set-up, guy.
9 years ago at 6:38 pmIts honestly not as bad as it sounds
9 years ago at 7:09 pmI bet you’ve been cuckolded on multiple occasions
9 years ago at 9:40 pmThis sounds exactly like my non-existent girlfriend…
9 years ago at 2:32 pmThey can’t cheat if you remember to lock the basement
9 years ago at 3:24 pmThese hoes ain’t loyal
9 years ago at 4:32 pmWere you cheated on, Dan?
9 years ago at 5:09 pmShe vapes lol
9 years ago at 5:35 pmWeird article
9 years ago at 9:36 pmThe last one? Offensive.
In my experience, guys cheat more than girls.
9 years ago at 9:45 pmIf you’re offended then show us your tits. It’ll help with the pain.
9 years ago at 7:35 amI can’t believe you’re actually asking me to do that….
9 years ago at 11:20 pm