75% Of ISIS Fighters Are Now Dead Thanks To U.S.-Led Airstrikes

dronesbruh

Who would’ve thought a fleet of old pickup trucks with beds full of armed, dirty psychopaths would be no match for the greatest military power the world has ever known? Huh. Crazy.

From CNN:

At least 75% of ISIS fighters have been killed during the campaign of US-led airstrikes, according to US officials.

The US anti-ISIS envoy said the campaign has winnowed ISIS’ ranks to between 12,000 and 15,000 “battle ready” fighters, a top US official said on Tuesday.
The figures mean the US and its coalition partners have taken out vastly more ISIS fighters in Iraq and Syria than currently remain on the battlefield, two years since the bombing campaign began. Last week a US official said the coalition had killed 50,000 militants since 2014.

The last couple months have been rough for the U.S.A. Whether the candidate you wanted won or lost, or, just as likely, wasn’t even in the running, there’s no question that the national discourse, and perhaps even our faith in many of our fellow countrymen, has deteriorated. With that in mind, let’s take a moment to celebrate the fact that despite the supposed cracks that are showing in our Republic, and despite the ever increasing attempt by half our fellow citizens to paint the United States as a historical “bad guy”, the leader of the free world (us, our country, America) just spent the last few years all but eradicating an evil army of lunatic, murderous, capital R rapists from the face of the Earth. A rogue army that spends its time taking girls and women as sex slaves, beheading old men for being accused of wizardry* (like I said, lunatics), throwing gay people off buildings, and basically just murdering the innocent for sport, en masse. And we’re systematically sending all these sick fucks to hell.

*I want to keep a few alive. Some of the really dumb ones that fully believe all the ISIS bullshit. Then, once they’re imprisoned, have David Blaine do his street magic for the captured fighters, and watch them all just lose it thinking a sorcerer is performing unholy acts in front of them. And all the while David Blaine is talking in his weirdly subdued baritone like nothing out of the ordinary is happening, as per usual.

ISIS is the literal opposite of freedom, equality, and, in fact, the opposite of good itself, and the United States is shitting missiles on them from the sky, because it’s our duty as a free society. Bitch all you want about the opposite side of the aisle not respecting your right to this or that, but at the end of the day, ending these monsters’ existence proves that no matter what comparatively small freedoms someone may think they’re being denied in this country, ultimately, the United States is still a force for good.

I’m going to have a lunch beer to celebrate.

[via CNN]

Image via Shutterstock

  1. Ticklemyfrock

    We should keep encouraging terrorists to travel to Syria and join up. That way they are all in one spot when we drone bomb them

    8 years ago at 12:06 pm
    1. Pete_Jones

      Nice attack strategy. That’ll do it. They’ll never see it coming. Not sure why they skimmed over you and chose Mad Dog for SOD.

      Are you the kid that keeps ending up on my Call of Duty team throwing flashbang grenades in closed rooms and calling my mom the n-word?

      8 years ago at 1:31 pm
    1. InternationalFratStudent

      Oh I also forgot. What’s the difference between a pre school and an ISIS training camp?

      8 years ago at 12:10 pm
  2. InHoc04

    Thanks Bacon. Figured the national media would make this headline news, but it doesn’t into the current discourse well enough (i.e. everything is awful and America is fucked…)

    8 years ago at 12:34 pm
    1. Frattie Smalls

      Don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. I understand that a lot of the high schoolers on here just hate Obama without having policy-based reasons why, but this good news is literally thanks to Obama. Unmanned airstrikes > Boots on the ground and American lives lost.

      8 years ago at 1:17 pm
      1. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

        Add on civilian casualties, and there’s your strongest reasons to hate Obama on this issue. So was it all worth it and is it still worth it? We’ll never have that intel. So everybody should be supporting our military, including Commander in Chief.

        8 years ago at 7:15 pm