If You Got A Handy In The Stands At The Bills Game Yesterday, Your New Lover Is Looking For You

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Hey, Bills fans, if you got your tally whacked yesterday at Ralph Wilson Stadium, your new lover is looking for you — and she wants to go another round.

A Craigslist post from Western New York has the details. Basically, while her boyfriend was in the bathroom, some assumably heinous Buffalo chick jerked off the face-painted guy next to her until he creamed his pants. It’s basically Buffalo’s version of Romeo and Juliet.

CLICK TO ENLARGE:

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OK, let’s breakdown and rank all the weird shit that happened at the Bills game yesterday:

4. This guy slamming his face into a parked bus after a tough round of dizzy bat.
3. A Saturday night Tailgate suicide in the parking lot of Ralph Wilson Stadium.
2. An in-stadium stranger handjob with a random face-painted dude.
1. The Bills winning a home-opener against a decent Indianapolis Colts team.

All of this stuff is completely out of the ordinary for almost any other NFL franchise (Looking at you, Jets fans).

Sure, there is a chance this is fake, but I want it to be real so bad. In the last 24 hours, I have learned more about the city of Buffalo, NY than I ever wanted to know. It is a weird, fucked up place where it snows all the time and people jerk each other off during a Bills game. I mean, it’s clearly not heaven — but it’s close.

What a time to be alive in Buffalo.

Originally posted on PostGradProblems.com

Image via YouTube

      1. TacticalButterKnife

        Steve Holt’s mom gives Dorn’s a run for her money in terms of whoring around.

        9 years ago at 6:13 pm
      2. Jameson Von Budweiser

        Dorn probably hasn’t fired him yet since Holt takes all the heat off himself

        9 years ago at 10:13 pm
      3. DornFromMajorLeague

        The good doctor uses his stacks of Benjamins and huge dong to get ladies, you cretin.

        9 years ago at 10:17 am
  1. DornsLoveChild

    Great, some bitch trying to find love with a mediocre tale of events, and now a craigslist post doing the same thing.

    9 years ago at 5:58 pm
  2. Sigma Alpha Egg sandwich

    This is definitely a craigslist troll, go fuck your self Steve

    9 years ago at 6:03 pm
  3. Henry_Eighth

    All this penis fascination clearly indicates that you are a woman. A butt-ugly woman.

    9 years ago at 6:04 pm
  4. Shut up Meg

    A forbidden love inspired old fashioned while watching your team cock slap andrew luck around? Power move

    9 years ago at 6:10 pm
  5. Frat Me Maybe

    This is probably an autobiography. Steve Holt seems like the guy who would get a HJ and cream himself. #firesteveholt

    9 years ago at 6:55 pm
  6. Frank Lyman from Amherst

    Steve, do you remember your first handy at a football game? Did the guy cream in his pants too?

    9 years ago at 7:17 pm