If You Got A Handy In The Stands At The Bills Game Yesterday, Your New Lover Is Looking For You

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Hey, Bills fans, if you got your tally whacked yesterday at Ralph Wilson Stadium, your new lover is looking for you — and she wants to go another round.

A Craigslist post from Western New York has the details. Basically, while her boyfriend was in the bathroom, some assumably heinous Buffalo chick jerked off the face-painted guy next to her until he creamed his pants. It’s basically Buffalo’s version of Romeo and Juliet.

CLICK TO ENLARGE:

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OK, let’s breakdown and rank all the weird shit that happened at the Bills game yesterday:

4. This guy slamming his face into a parked bus after a tough round of dizzy bat.
3. A Saturday night Tailgate suicide in the parking lot of Ralph Wilson Stadium.
2. An in-stadium stranger handjob with a random face-painted dude.
1. The Bills winning a home-opener against a decent Indianapolis Colts team.

All of this stuff is completely out of the ordinary for almost any other NFL franchise (Looking at you, Jets fans).

Sure, there is a chance this is fake, but I want it to be real so bad. In the last 24 hours, I have learned more about the city of Buffalo, NY than I ever wanted to know. It is a weird, fucked up place where it snows all the time and people jerk each other off during a Bills game. I mean, it’s clearly not heaven — but it’s close.

What a time to be alive in Buffalo.

Originally posted on PostGradProblems.com

Image via YouTube

  1. GeebsNotGeeds

    Read the ad, and I feel strange about my semi knowing it was probably some trolling piece of shit who wrote it and even if it was a girl she’s probably disgusting given her home and actions. Still, I hate to waste this given this new information about preventing prostate cancer. I’ll see y’all in just a few minutes. I’m going to see what Carter Cruise is up to.

    9 years ago at 8:38 pm
  2. unkle

    1. Its Bills vs Colts in BUF so safe bet is red, white and blue face paint.
    2. If shes even bringing up whether or not hes wearing underwear the answer is clearly no.

    Time to get a free OTPHJ

    9 years ago at 9:34 pm
  3. BufordBrew

    I also want to meet the legend that has women searching for him after having surprisingly short endurance in bed/stadium seat

    9 years ago at 11:03 pm
  4. Livingonthecoast

    I have my suspicions that Dorn is the one who put the Craigslist post up…

    9 years ago at 7:11 am
  5. Frat-tanooga

    Don’t forget the guy that slid down on a rail on the upper deck and landed on someone in the lower bowl

    9 years ago at 10:38 am
  6. SteveHoltOnDrugs

    This post is word-for-word exactly the same as a post on PGP by someone named “CashBack.” More proof “SteveHolt” is just a staff account used to post click-bait.

    9 years ago at 5:55 am