Is Your Halloween Costume Racist? Check With These University-Issued Flowcharts
Poor Halloween. It used to be known as the one day of the where you could dress up as a giant dick and balls, get blackout drunk and still get laid by a slutty cupcake. Now, thanks to the hyper-sensitive and politically correct crowd out there, you’ve got to ask yourself questions like “Is it offensive if this dick and balls costume is light-skinned?”
So to help you stay out of hot water with the PC fun-killers, universities around the nation are issuing guidelines via flowcharts to help you decide if your costume is racist or not.
Here’s the TL;DR version: Sombrero? Racist. Mustache? Racist. Afro? Racist. Chopsticks? Racist. White piece of paper? Racist.
I’ll start with my favorite flowchart, brought to you by the good people at the NC State University.
When you see a flowchart that deems dressing up as Hitler a notch below blackface then you know you’re in for a rollercoaster of a read. One is a group of people, the other murdered 6 million Jews. Hmm.
This next one is brought to you by State University of New York at Geneseo:
Up yours, Geneseo. Pilgrim bros and Nava-hoes is a great party theme and I ain’t changing it.
Wesleyan has similar guidelines with experts on call for you to ask if your costume is culturally sensitive enough.
Wesleyan University poster tells you if your Halloween costume might offend.:https://t.co/N8wtVAsmO4 pic.twitter.com/t0BdngHrYJ
— El Hermano (@ElHermanoAmigo) October 30, 2015
“Um, hello? Yeah, I’m thinking of going as a ghost. Don’t wear a white sheet? Ok. What about a black sheet? No? Grey? Clear? Rainbow? Ok. I’ll stay in for Halloween. Thank you.”
Here’s a look at Hampshire College’s:
So in bullet point no. 2, you’re saying I can go as a Mexican, but no one else can if they’re not Mexican? Sucks to suck, Louisville’s president.
Basically all the guidelines say the same thing: If you’re going to be someone else for Halloween, try not to be racist, but your costume will still probably be racist.
These guidelines apply to everyone, not just college students. Well, except for Ellen Degeneres. She’s a hoot!
This is why I’m just gonna go as a slutty cupcake..
It would be cool if I could read the first flowchart.
10 years ago at 3:43 pmYou can read it using the app but I’m gonna warn you that you’ll regret it
10 years ago at 9:25 pmThis might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen
10 years ago at 3:50 pmIf black people get the afro, do we get the mullet?
10 years ago at 3:55 pmSomeone spent way too much of their time making that first flow chart. Jesus that thing is never ending.
10 years ago at 3:56 pm4 years ago I went dressed as a Rastafarian and my black friend went dressed as a white accountant. No one got offended and everyone had a great time. What has happened to this country.
10 years ago at 3:59 pmA black friend of mine dressed up as Sunday Tiger Woods a few years back and some dipshit said it was in bad taste because of his recent infidelity scandal. I mean, that’s why he went as Tiger in the first place. I couldn’t believe my ears. It was pathetic.
10 years ago at 4:07 pmI hope you punched that oversensitive twat in the throat.
10 years ago at 4:13 pmLet’s just say I wish I would have had a five iron on hand when he said that stupid shit.
10 years ago at 4:14 pmMy buddy went as a Rastafarian about 5 or 6 years ago, no hard feelings, no offense taken by anyone. Those were the days…
10 years ago at 4:43 pmSo black Jesus?
10 years ago at 4:09 pmHe was black so…
10 years ago at 10:47 pmThe whole point of a flow chart is brevity. This is the most cluttered piece of shit I’ve ever seen. All chart, no flow. NF.
10 years ago at 4:37 pmAccording to these flow charts, it’s offensive to dress up as a fraternity member. #FratLivesMatter
10 years ago at 4:49 pmDo I give a fuck about any who’s offended by my costume? -> Nope.
10 years ago at 4:55 pmGoddamn GDI’s trying to be overly sensitive about everything
10 years ago at 5:11 pm