Is Your Halloween Costume Racist? Check With These University-Issued Flowcharts
Poor Halloween. It used to be known as the one day of the where you could dress up as a giant dick and balls, get blackout drunk and still get laid by a slutty cupcake. Now, thanks to the hyper-sensitive and politically correct crowd out there, you’ve got to ask yourself questions like “Is it offensive if this dick and balls costume is light-skinned?”
So to help you stay out of hot water with the PC fun-killers, universities around the nation are issuing guidelines via flowcharts to help you decide if your costume is racist or not.
Here’s the TL;DR version: Sombrero? Racist. Mustache? Racist. Afro? Racist. Chopsticks? Racist. White piece of paper? Racist.
I’ll start with my favorite flowchart, brought to you by the good people at the NC State University.
When you see a flowchart that deems dressing up as Hitler a notch below blackface then you know you’re in for a rollercoaster of a read. One is a group of people, the other murdered 6 million Jews. Hmm.
This next one is brought to you by State University of New York at Geneseo:
Up yours, Geneseo. Pilgrim bros and Nava-hoes is a great party theme and I ain’t changing it.
Wesleyan has similar guidelines with experts on call for you to ask if your costume is culturally sensitive enough.
Wesleyan University poster tells you if your Halloween costume might offend.:https://t.co/N8wtVAsmO4 pic.twitter.com/t0BdngHrYJ
— El Hermano (@ElHermanoAmigo) October 30, 2015
“Um, hello? Yeah, I’m thinking of going as a ghost. Don’t wear a white sheet? Ok. What about a black sheet? No? Grey? Clear? Rainbow? Ok. I’ll stay in for Halloween. Thank you.”
Here’s a look at Hampshire College’s:
So in bullet point no. 2, you’re saying I can go as a Mexican, but no one else can if they’re not Mexican? Sucks to suck, Louisville’s president.
Basically all the guidelines say the same thing: If you’re going to be someone else for Halloween, try not to be racist, but your costume will still probably be racist.
These guidelines apply to everyone, not just college students. Well, except for Ellen Degeneres. She’s a hoot!
This is why I’m just gonna go as a slutty cupcake..
4 years ago two of our black brothers dressed as Klan members and it was a riot. 10/10 times our fraternity gets suspended if that happened today. Even if they’re black guys doing it, they’ll somehow twist it to how while fraternities have brainwashed these black men into marginalizing their own culture or some shit.
10 years ago at 5:13 pmDressing as a clan member is un original and tasteless to begin with, why not just wear 4 polos with the collars popped , some oakleys with a flat brim new era cap, some fake tan , pink chubbies and sperrys, carry the Edward 40 hands and call yourself “stereotype frat bro (pike)”.
10 years ago at 10:46 pmThe libs will love it !
10 years ago at 10:47 pmDon’t reproduce
10 years ago at 2:16 pmI’m going as a Jewish Rabbi with a Mohel for circumcision and I’m not even a Jew. I’m sure the PC Police is gonna eat that shit up.
10 years ago at 7:24 pmAs a semi-practicing half Jew I fully support this costume choice. Fuck libs!
10 years ago at 11:20 pmI’m going as a black guy dressed in white face. According to the chart, I am indeed not racist
10 years ago at 8:55 pmI’m going to try and offend everybody at once. Donald Trump with a sombrero on and maracas with a nametag labelled “Jared Fogle”. I’m sure there’s more I could do here
10 years ago at 9:22 pmYou’re missing the biggest one: black face. Add a swastika and everything the charts are against.
10 years ago at 9:49 pmIs it OK to dress as a mentally ill person if you are actually mentally ill? Asking for a friend.
10 years ago at 10:05 pmOn behalf of all men and women in America I would like to thank Liberals for always fighting for individual freedom by telling me what I should and should not do in a passive aggressive tone.
10 years ago at 1:00 pm