Woman Live-Tweets Her Neighbor Having Outrageously Loud Sex, Includes Audio Proof
Even though she’s no longer in college, Stacey Ritzen recently experienced one of the most common problems that comes with sharing a wall with a sex fiend: collateral sex noise damage.
Ritzen, who is a writer and web culture editor for UPROXX, took to Twitter to give the world a front row seat (literally, we’re up against the wall) to the whole ordeal.
Who wants to hear my terrible neighbor having extremely loud sex? pic.twitter.com/ABIhEKlQJs
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
It's like my own personal "Shut Up Little Man" with 1000x more shitty R&B music and fucking.
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
Update: there is a school bus I've never seen parked outside so I am like 95% sure she's frigging a bus driver pic.twitter.com/RyIrSVFfmA
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
I’m not surprised he’s a bus driver, because it sounds like she’s on the express route to Poundtown. Ba dum tss!
I’d watch my back door if I were her; I hear bus drivers know all the routes. Ba dum tss!
Okay, I’m done.
So this is still happening pic.twitter.com/xNHCuq3Aup
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
I’m not sure why he’s screaming out “Yes! Yes!” during, as if he is a prospector who has just struck gold, and I’m also not sure why her moans sound like those of a Scooby-Doo ghost. To each their own, I suppose.
Oh god… it's starting again. HOW MANY ORGASMS MUST ONE WOMAN HAVE????
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
HAND TO GOD pic.twitter.com/VoEkrYGK6f
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
FYI my video camera cut off halfway into that last one so it just sounds like someone is being murdered. I assure you that's not the case.
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
The bus driver isn’t murdering her, but he sure is murdering something else.
I love Twitter..
[via Stacey Ritzen/Twitter]
Image via Stacey Ritzen/Twitter
How dumb do you think we are, Jared? We all know that a “female orgasm” is an old wives tale.
10 years ago at 5:21 pm*Everyone patiently waits in the comment section to hear the High school kid tell you that you’re obviously not pounding her right and he’s the best there is, so we can all rip him a part*
10 years ago at 5:29 pmYeah, can I have a redo? Stupid fucking idiot Barack
10 years ago at 5:43 pmLooks like we found the high schooler.
10 years ago at 6:02 pmPlease stop trying so hard
10 years ago at 12:06 amI’m still not entirely sure females exist.
10 years ago at 5:31 pmHa! Funny!
10 years ago at 5:34 pmYou think you can come in here and just throw in “fuckin’ Jefferson” like there is not already a Fucking President currently residing up in this bitch? I’m on to you, boy.
10 years ago at 6:08 pmStop.
10 years ago at 6:29 pmI mean Dorn does this on the regular…at your local elementary school
10 years ago at 5:34 pmKeep on fishin buddy
10 years ago at 8:05 pmI forgot my rod…oh wait đŸ˜‰
10 years ago at 9:03 pmAlabama is about to rape clemson so hard in the national championship that anyone live tweeting the action will be marked as NSFW
10 years ago at 5:35 pmI think it bodes well for Clemson that it is being insulted by the likes of you.
10 years ago at 5:44 pmSwing and a miss
10 years ago at 5:55 pmMustve been Daniel Bryan
10 years ago at 5:37 pmshe sounds disappointed
10 years ago at 5:48 pmAre they not supposed to? Asking for a friend.
10 years ago at 8:20 pmThat was my finest work yet
10 years ago at 5:50 pmI see what you did
10 years ago at 9:37 pmConsidering she’s a writer and web culture editor for UPROXX, she probably needs a little dick herself
10 years ago at 5:53 pmI think she’s just jealous no one has ever fucked her that good.
10 years ago at 6:03 pmGood god is the guy fucking an angered orangutan?
10 years ago at 6:10 pmShe sounded like a caribou in the second video
10 years ago at 6:26 pm