Woman Live-Tweets Her Neighbor Having Outrageously Loud Sex, Includes Audio Proof
Even though she’s no longer in college, Stacey Ritzen recently experienced one of the most common problems that comes with sharing a wall with a sex fiend: collateral sex noise damage.
Ritzen, who is a writer and web culture editor for UPROXX, took to Twitter to give the world a front row seat (literally, we’re up against the wall) to the whole ordeal.
Who wants to hear my terrible neighbor having extremely loud sex? pic.twitter.com/ABIhEKlQJs
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
It's like my own personal "Shut Up Little Man" with 1000x more shitty R&B music and fucking.
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
Update: there is a school bus I've never seen parked outside so I am like 95% sure she's frigging a bus driver pic.twitter.com/RyIrSVFfmA
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
I’m not surprised he’s a bus driver, because it sounds like she’s on the express route to Poundtown. Ba dum tss!
I’d watch my back door if I were her; I hear bus drivers know all the routes. Ba dum tss!
Okay, I’m done.
So this is still happening pic.twitter.com/xNHCuq3Aup
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
I’m not sure why he’s screaming out “Yes! Yes!” during, as if he is a prospector who has just struck gold, and I’m also not sure why her moans sound like those of a Scooby-Doo ghost. To each their own, I suppose.
Oh god… it's starting again. HOW MANY ORGASMS MUST ONE WOMAN HAVE????
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
HAND TO GOD pic.twitter.com/VoEkrYGK6f
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
FYI my video camera cut off halfway into that last one so it just sounds like someone is being murdered. I assure you that's not the case.
— Stacey Ritzen (@StaceyRitzen) January 5, 2016
The bus driver isn’t murdering her, but he sure is murdering something else.
I love Twitter..
[via Stacey Ritzen/Twitter]
Image via Stacey Ritzen/Twitter
The beginning of the second one sounds a but like a tea pot boiling.
10 years ago at 6:36 pmYou and Iaminafrat have strikingly different opinions.
10 years ago at 6:48 pmAre you sure there isn’t an exorcism being performed
10 years ago at 6:56 pmThis leap frog anyone else to the hub?
10 years ago at 7:28 pmSandy hook didnt happen
10 years ago at 9:30 pmStarted off as normal moans but quickly turned into something you might hear in the Exorcist
10 years ago at 12:04 amSounds like the bus driver is unloading some kiddos into her belly
10 years ago at 12:07 am