Ridiculous Tinder Pickup Lines, Part 79

Crazy things can happen when you swipe right.

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alyssa
I can’t tell if this is an insult or not. I think it’s a backhanded compliment.
angeline
This man knows how to plan a date. I want him to plan my wedding.
ann
This man… not so much.
cindy
I’d be interested in knowing those figures, if any of y’all feel so inclined as to research them.
colleen
And we all hope you get it.
dina
#NAMEGAGS2016
hallie
Always knowing just what to say. TFM.
jessie
To put this into context, I featured the pre-asshole part of this conversation in last week’s edition. She should probably just stop messaging him at this point.
lauren
This is how you play the game.
gertha
#NAMEGAGS2016
  1. AlotInsideAmySchumer

    “In a study of penis size where measurements were taken in a laboratory setting, the average penis circumference when erect was 4.8 inches (12.3 cm), which means that the average width of the erect penis is approximately 1.5 inches (4 cm).” – Wikipedia

    9 years ago at 8:20 am
  2. dingos_lil_5

    Jared, you always deliver these every week, and never forget to publish. Maybe the intern could learn something from you.

    9 years ago at 8:26 am
  3. flAvorTOwn

    The girl named “Nicollette”, I would have just said suhdude and hoped she got the reference…

    9 years ago at 9:22 am
    1. Remember2ironking

      It’s not Nick Colletti it’s Yung Turd and he’s not funny anymore

      9 years ago at 1:52 pm
  4. Joff the L-E-G-A-C-Y

    Jared I don’t believe for one second you haven’t researched average
    penis size to see where you stack up.

    9 years ago at 10:20 am
  5. MattyIce313

    Uncooked spaghetti would be a better weapon than cooked spaghetti. But hey who am I to judge

    9 years ago at 3:55 pm