Justin Tuck’s New Facemask Was Designed By Satan

Seriously, look at that thing, it’s freaking terrifying. This doesn’t look like it should be protecting someone’s face, it looks like it should be protecting everyone else FROM a face. I’m pretty sure Tuck’s design meeting went like this:

Helmet Designer: Okay Justin, I understand you want a new helmet, one that will strike fear into the other players. What kind of look were you going for?

Justin Tuck: Okay so here’s what I got. I had this dream last night that Hannibal Lecter from “Silence of the Lambs” turned into an evil robot, but instead of eating people he eats their souls… for robot fuel. I want to look like that.

Helmet Designer: Evil soul eating robot Hannibal Lecter? Yeah I think we can do that.

Justin Tuck: Nice.

Here’s the original photo:

  1. Tallapoosa Snu

    Pussy. Tryin to protect his face like Justin Bieber. Punters are the tough ones. they have a single circular bar and literally everyone on the field wants to hit the fuck out of them at one time.

    12 years ago at 12:41 pm
    1. SupremeGrandFratsar

      Wow. Punters haven’t had the single bar for a number of years now. Get your shit together Tallapoosa.

      12 years ago at 10:52 pm
  2. NeilFratrickHarris21

    good luck trying to see a fumble on the ground with that mess of bars

    12 years ago at 9:46 am